Tuesday, November 19, 2013

A Few Sexy Reasons Why Forty Isn't So Bad

Forty--it's the year you officially become middle aged, wrinkle creams suddenly seem attractive and you realize your butt just doesn't look like it used to. Aging; fun, right? But while the media typically wraps up aging women with a negative connotation and pushes it as something we should be afraid of, it can actually be pretty great.

Turning forty and beyond has it's benefits, two of the biggest being relationships and sex. Like a good wine or your sense of style, these two components only get better with age. So before you get hung up on the negatives coming with your next birthday, check out the positives.

Sexual Confidence:
As the fledgling days of your twenties are well behind you (thank god!), so too are the bedroom insecurities. At this point, you know what you like and what you want. You know what works and what doesn't. You've learned the art of speaking up, asking for what you want and letting loose on the reigns. You also have the balls now to step outside of your comfort zone, knowing that a little dirty talk, Adam and Eve toys and role playing can go a long way. Your ever growing sexual confidence will continue to bring your sex life to new heights, including...

More orgasms.
Heyo! Your sexual confidence mixed with hormone levels changing gives you access to more orgasms than you ever experienced when you were younger. While libidos are known to decrease once you hit a premenopausal state, your sexual satisfaction does not. In fact, it goes up!

Relationships and dating proved to be tricky when you were younger. You were afraid to say this, that or another in fear that it would push your partner away. Now you can drop a conversation bomb like a seasoned pro with the intelligence, confidence and empathy to match, all while cooking dinner and helping the kids do homework.

Dating used to be painful and truthfully, it can be at any age. However, if you find yourself still dating, or dating again in your forties and beyond, you can rest easy knowing that you're likelihood of dealing with boy-like traits (playing games, egos, etc.) will substantially decrease. At this point, your date will already have their life together or will at least let you know they never will. You won't have to wonder if they are the marrying kind or will want to have kids because chances are they will have already done both. And while not necessary, but certainly nice, you won't have to endure $1.50 movies and $2 beer nights, because you can both afford to take each other out on nice dates.

The rush of young love is fantastic; it's a cloud 9 feeling that nothing else can replicate. But the feeling of well-aged love, the kind you build over years of special moments, conversations and fights, is unlike any initial feeling of butterflies. So as you look back fondly at those early years, know that your love gets better, stronger and more comfortable with every year.

As your next birthday approaches, whether its a big one, a not so important one or "which one was it again," know that your relationships and sex life are only going to keep improving and age ain't nothing but a number. What else do you think gets better with age?

Major thanks to Adam and Eve's team of writers for today's article. With my birthday merely days away I plan to get every last thing on the list! Either way, I'll at least be doing a little shopping. ;)

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

If My Life Isn't Perfect By 40

Today I turned 39.96 years old. If little kids can piece out their year so can I. I'm not 40. Not yet, anyway.

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This getting older thing was sort of freaking me out. All I could think was, "I'm going to be a still-divorced 40 year old woman." I had no idea what that even meant. It was certainly not in my plans. I was supposed to have my beta marriage over, the kids preparing to leave the nest, and my new and improved marriage was supposed to be well underway. In my 30 year plan, I had selected 40 as the year my pretend husband and I would go to some gorgeous sunny resort and act like carefree 20 somethings and enjoy cocktails and staring at other much sexier vacationers. What the hell? This shit was not going as planned. Last year I sat down and had a little cry, then I looked at myself and said, "Tick tock, bitch."

Do you know what I've done since then to ensure that my dreams would unfold as scheduled? Not a damned thing. I've been working. It's been busy. I uh... yeah it didn't get done. There was that misspent $30 on Match.com. If you're looking to hook up with people as equally frustrated and messed up as you, it's the place to be! Either way, I've gravitated back to my standard hopeless romantic status. And it's good. I'm not dating, or engaged, or ya know... in a committed relationship, but it will happen when it happens.

If it doesn't happen... it's not like I don't have a crap load of other things to be thankful for.

Crap Load of Things I'm Thankful For If My Life Isn't Perfect By 40
(Feel free to make this a drinking game. If you can say the same, take a drink)

1. Family- All of them. Regardless of how we do or do not get along, I'd not be who I am today without them. They gave me roots, wings, history, and purpose. They are also the ones who have been my strength when I couldn't find any of my own. They also make holidays mo betta because I don't have to do all the cooking or sit by myself watching crappy sappy holiday shows.

a) My mother gets a special mention here because she is and always will be my hero. If you know her and who she is as a mother, wife, grandmother... you'll understand. 

b) My children are my end all be all. No matter how much we complain about each other, bicker, or fight they are my main reason for living. They are amazing, and the depth of their personalities and their hearts make me proud to be their mother. 

2. Friends- I can't name all of them because it would single-handedly bring down the internet. No matter where I've gone in my life I have managed to make the most amazing friends. Without them life would be so very sad indeed. From my girls to my guys, they have provided such warmth and love.

3. Health- What can I say? I'm not sick. Physically. The body is, thus far, holding up pretty well. Cheers to that! Except for the gravity shit. Not real pleased with that, but with some surgical intervention that can be undone. Until then I could probably use duct tape. 

4. Employment- I go to work and get paid for it. This job does not suck. Even when the work itself did, the people made it okay. I'd list all the perks of working here, but I don't need you all asking for applications. Suffice it to say, things could be a lot worse.

5. Laughter- The ability to laugh at myself and my situation, even when the chips are down, is a Godsend. I am fortunate in that respect. No matter how down I get, I can always find a reason to laugh.

6. Tears- Wha what?! Yeah, tears. Sometimes the eyes they get itchy, ya know? Sometimes you just need to be able to let it go, and there is nothing like a good cry to do that. I am not thankful for the puffy post-cry eyes or the red nose or the fact that God didn't make me a pretty crier. I am still thankful for the tears.

7. Past Love- Love them or hate them, past love has brought meaning to my life today. Each broken heart has been a lesson in what I need, what I need to work on, and a stepping stone to a future love.

8. New Love- I love someone. It's true. I consider it a little reminder that I'm not as broken as I think. I'm still capable of loving. That's pretty damned miraculous, right? All things considered... No? Whatever, I'm considering it my super power.

9. Social Media- As I've moved, my friends have moved. As I've changed, my interests have changed. In so many ways technology has added people to my life, many of which I've had the opportunity to meet in real life. They have become my friends and, in a way, my family. If it weren't for technology these incredible friends and family and experiences wouldn't have been a part of my life. From MSN, Match.com, Twitter, Facebook, and Blogs... I swear to God, some of the most amazing and horrendous experiences of my life. You all know who you are. <3

10. The little things- Whether it is easy to make dinners, short lines at the grocers, lower gas prices, or the fact that I'm living somewhere far better than so many other people in the world (and as much I fight it, it's still true), it's these little turns of luck that put you where you are right this very moment. I'm thankful for all those damned little things. When I think, "I wish I could go ____ or maybe even do ____", I have to remind myself that perhaps that isn't what I am supposed to be doing right now. Perhaps that is my tomorrow. Perhaps that is my never, but life could sure as fuck be a lot worse than it is without the little things.

So, if life isn't exactly how I wanted it to be when I am 40... it's been pretty damned good to me, all things considered. 

My Zimbio
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