Thursday, May 9, 2013

Week in Review: King of Tweakers, Vodka I don't Have, and My Thighs

It's almost swimwear season according to the calendar, though you might not recognize it by the forecast. Regardless, I've taken it upon myself to pull out the scale, buy new running shoes, agree to really stupid fitness goals for next year, and look at my thighs in the mirror. My advice to everyone is to not look at your thighs more than once a week. It's more depressing than weighing yourself daily.

I decided to get back to a plan similar to what has been successful for me in the past. Using the Weight Watchers point system equivalents, I get to eat basically nothing unless you count eating as much as I want of foods I don't like. It works pretty well. I even cut out a large amount of wine, which though generally consumed on my boss' tab, is pretty high in calories. It's been going great. Not a single person has died by my hand all week.

It's not been without it's ill side-effects, though. For instance, my memory is slipping. Today I had every intention of spoiling myself with a little vodka Redbull cocktail after work. When I got home I stripped out of the pretty clothes and slid into my favorite jeans and sweatshirt. I surrounded myself with all the things I need to work from my home office (the bed). I pulled up a file I'd emailed myself and poured myself a drink. About half way through the beverage I thought to myself, "This drink is weak. I can hardly taste the vodka." It was at that moment that I realized that, all good intentions aside, I had forgotten to buy vodka let alone put any in the glass. See? Healthy living isn't perfect.

Here's my newest addition to my jog-jam.

Thanks to Matt H., this song is floating around the office, and a few of us are singing along thinking of people we know. I have to be careful when listening to it at work. It's hard to control your head when sound is pumping into your ears at a level even my GS3 warns me is too loud. The best verse? "I did it to myself I can't ignore. I'm beating myself up like a dirty whore." That's exactly what getting back into the healthy living/running lifestyle is like. You got out of practice of your own accord and going back to a jog then a run from a complacent 4.5 mph is a bitch.

For anyone who just listens to the song and wonders, "OMG is Angie on meth?" the answer is no. Have you seen my thighs? My ass? I can't afford a habit. If I could I'd pick something that didn't cause a person to pick at their face. I'm vain that way. Also, I like sleep far too much to choose a habit that keeps me awake. Thanks in advance for your concern though. Sincerely.

So here's what has happened since I last checked in: 

1. My son's school called and asked if he could be recommended for a new school program next year tailored to his health needs. Four hours a day, online in a classroom environment, same class load, no multi-level school to maneuver. It would have been great if this had been available to his sister too, but we're hopeful. I worry about his AP classes and an online environment, though I'm assured the teachers are qualified to help him when needed. We're really focusing on personal responsibility.

2. Work. A shitload of that.

3. SprocketInk - Here's what I covered for the snarkiest view at the news this week:
Hold Your Applause: The Clap Makes a Comeback This is just exactly what you think... with a bit of really scary "you can die from this shit" sort of news and disgusting imagery. You're welcome.
Surprise Package Contains Threatening Dildo  I've been to a Tractor Supply store before, and a Wheeler's, and a Bomgaar's yet I've never seen a threatening dildo there. Maybe I've been looking in the wrong aisle?

4. Planned a little weekend get away with the little sis and the Mom. In honor of Mother's Day three of us Mothers are going to get a suite in/near the city and party our asses off! Okay we're actually just going to Council-tucky for a little shopping, pedicure maybe, foodstravaganza, hotel pool swimming evening with the little ones.

Wishing you all the very best that the weekend has to offer. Try not to get arrested. Peace.

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