Between seasonal depression, being too stubborn to go to the Dr. to ask for a fix, and being too busy with burying myself in work and work functions, I am pretty damned non-verbal after 5 PM. I don't answer my calls. If you're one of the people leaving me voicemail... sorry. I just can't do it. I'll call during work hours when I'm "on". I smile from 7-5 and that's all I really have. When I do speak after 5, I tend to either cut up and be SUPER funny (for real) or I make people cry (shit, I'm not even kidding). Neither one of those two parts of my personality are real and certainly shouldn't be let out too damned often.
So anyhooters... my girl at work and I have been doing a shit ton of yacking lately. This might have a little something to do with me throwing myself into my work. Sometimes when you spend your time yappin' you have a little more work left at the end of the day. It's the time I used to call, "F*cking About" with Angie". I used to flit about the office being all sunshine and light (Dear Coworkers: This is when you shut up and nod). Now I'm all, "Hey, did you send me that? Can you send me that? Did I send that? Please tell me you didn't erase that. Oh, f*ck... I'll figure it out."
Right, so anyway, we've been talking. It's amazing to find someone as completely screwed up as you. I have a knack for it. So we've been talking about our moments of introspection and our collegiate levels of psychology. It helps us analyze ourselves through analyzing each other. Friday we came to the conclusion that realizing you need other people in your life and that you often need help is the most healthy conclusion one can come to.
We are super smart and introspective. People need people. Then we sang a little, because we're nerds, People Who Need People. Immediately after, we decided that we were obviously right. According to all rules of denial, we also decided that we were the two people in the whole world who don't need anyone.
Her- You have to acknowledge that you need people. You have to be able to share what's going on to get feedback.
Me- Of course. Too much introspection is brutal. It only lets you see the parts you see and that you feel. You need others to balance it out.
Then we decided that other people suck and as soon as you find someone to just listen they start trying to "help" you by telling you what THEY think you should do. Then they say all the stupid cliches that we tell other people. After that we decided we won't be listening to anyone else to determine what's wrong with us. We're the sort of people that don't need others. We're self-aware.
Apparently acknowledging that you have a problem IS the first step. It seems we'll be hanging here at step one for awhile, at least until the f*cking sun comes out and melts the snow. It looks like that might be Saturday according to the lying SOB meteorologist who keeps telling us that it's spring. Just the other day I said to myself, "I wish I were in Canada where it's warm!" For real people. How often does one say that?
While I've been absent from here I've been over at SprocketInk holding up my end of the Sprocketeer deal. Here's what you've missed.
Me talking about trading McDonald's meals for sex
Me discussing how some men might never want to go back in there after witnessing childbirth
Me contemplating the pros and cons of "pay what you weigh" airfare