Friday, January 4, 2013

2013 More Disney Less Grimm

"Everyone needs a love story. I want one that isn't tragic. More Disney. Less Grimm." I said.

"Go out and have a good time. Gather your girls. Find your fairy tale. Don't forget the bread crumbs. They help with the walk of shame. Night Gretel." 

"Funny. Night Hansel." 

After spending money and a little time playing with this dating profile business, I have come to the conclusion that I simply don't like it. To be honest, I think I am just really bad at it. I don't check my email. I don't respond in a timely fashion. I'm fairly certain that some of the men who messaged me have gotten married and had kids since they sent the message. Yes, I realize it's only been a couple of weeks. People move fast these days!

As I'm finding, I am terrible at first dates. I'm awkward enough as it is. My head is totally not in the game. How in the hell have people been doing this for all these years? It boggles the mind. It seems to be a lot of nodding, staring, and "right, of course, yes, no, I see" conversations. I am far more fun in text than I am in real life. If you put me on the spot I'll probably insult your grandma or find myself completely incapable of making eye contact. "No, I wasn't staring at your crotch. I was just... okay I might have been, but I didn't see anything... I mean.. Oh God. Help me." - My best impression of me on a first date

I have decided to go back to the old fashioned way of doing things. Not MY old way... which was not dating at all. I mean going out and meeting people in unplanned settings where I don't feel like I need to perform. That's what I'm going to do. Soon, but not this weekend. I'm still exhausted. Not next week either, because I have plans. Maybe next weekend... if people are free, because I'm not going out alone. Plus this is a hectic month at work so I'll likely be really busy and stuff. So maybe starting next month. Or something. Shit, this sounds a lot like my old way.

Girl's night out anyone? Sushi? Maybe I'll meet a nice Asian guy at the... DAMMIT! And here we are right back where we started.

It's time to find my love story... I think I'll leave the bread crumbs at home.

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