Thursday, November 8, 2012

Full Of Excuses

Jill offers peace. Drinks at Paramount....
New research shows that people who participate in pre-drinking or booze front-loading (drinking before a drinking event) often drink twice as much as they would if they had just started drinking at the event. Also, pre-drinkers are also more likely to suffer hangovers, injuries, blackouts, and have unprotected sex. I heard it on the news just now so it's obviously true.

I pre-drank with the girls on Saturday for lunch. I followed that pre-drinking with regular drinking. I followed that with dinner and drinks with one of my girlfriends. I didn't get a hangover, a bruise, a blackout, or sex. I might have done it wrong. I probably did. Either way, that was pretty much all the partying I have left in me for the month.

It's been a few days (let's not count okay?) since I've shown my face here. How dare I come around here acting like I own the place! Right, because I do. I've been a busy little bee-atch. So here's what's been going on. It's pretty random. My excuses for my absence are as follows:

I... 

■Took second place in the DudeWrite Dudette writing contest with my Allow Me To Age Myself post! That was pretty damned exciting to be honest.

Sake at Tokyo Sushi!
■Spent some time over at SprocketInk where I wrote about drunken sailors and, more recently, made a really lame attempt to tie Mark Twain's War Prayer to a man getting his leg crushed by a crucifix. It's a bit of a stretch, but...

■Rescued a man (that I initially thought to be dead) from a nice nap (sleeping off his buzz) in the flower bed of a local nursing home. I think he is one of those pre-drinking booze front-loaders. Just a guess. He fist bumped someone while he attempted to sit up then promptly laid back down and decided he wasn't done sleeping.

■Voted. Thank God that is over. As it turns out, my vote (just mine) destroyed my former flame. I was informed of this in the form of email, IM, and text message. Voting is powerful, people. Next time someone pisses you off, find out who they are voting for and vote against them. Apparently it works. I'd been dating other people to destroy his life. One vote was all it took. Victory is mine.

■Did laundry and dishes. I'm still amazed at the way my kids can keep adding dishes to the sink without ever giving any thought to washing them. "All the forks are dirty? Well I guess I will wash one, but only one." Seriously, folks! What the hell?!

■Worked. Lots of that. I keep making excuses for going to work. That's how I know I have gotten old. I wake up in the morning with every intention of calling in sick. Sick of being responsible or something or other... then I lay there and make up reasons why I should just go to work. Money and whatnot.

■Ate eel. I'm not kidding. It's not quite as weird as the sea urchin I had in Montreal, but I approached it with excitement and a wee bit of trepidation. IT.WAS.AMAZING! Loved it and will be adding it to my Sushi-Sake-Saturday-Staples.

■Learned to use the self-portrait function on my phone. Sort of.

Let's pretend I meant to do that. 


No comments:

My Zimbio
Top Stories