Friday, August 17, 2012

Keep Your Romance Out of My Bedroom

Thanks to Scott over at It's MY Mind! for the heads up about  Dude WriteDudettes: The X Factor, this week ! I tend to be a bit of a Guy's Girl, so it seemed like as good a place as any to get my guy hangout time.  Stop over and check out the contestants and vote for your faves! 

I asked a guy friend for a topic today, hoping to get a peek inside the mind of a man. His suggestion, not too surprisingly, was a discussion about the differences between men and women. This is a topic that rolls around in my brain on a daily basis, so not a problem! No matter what my relationship status is at the time, I'm always trying to figure men out. Why do they do what they do, think what they think, and seem incapable of understanding the little things?

"How do you merge the sexual male ego with the romantic female need? Do men and women need separate date nights?" he asked. 

I asked for a little clarification, and when he answered I choked back my laughter. "Men need to have sex to feel loved. Women need to feel loved after sex." he said. 

For a moment I dug through my mental purse and fished for my Wo-man Card. "Huh? After sex I just want to sleep... or shop." I replied. I'd almost lost my card, but snatched it back at the last moment. 

Who in the hell told men that women need romance in their sex lives? Flowers, candy, diamonds, candles, and scented oils are always nice. However, none of those things make me want to have sex. Keep in mind that I wouldn't turn those things down any sooner than the guys I've dated would turn down a gift with an engine, electronics, a juicy steak, or tickets to watch their favorite team play.  

Most women I know will tell you that romance and sex do not usually go hand in hand. Some will even tell you that romance does not belong in the bedroom. Romance is that thing couples do before the sex. It's the small note before work. It's the call at noon to say "I love you". It's the hug in the kitchen when you're cleaning up at the end of the day. Romance can even be cooking him that perfect meal he loves, or buying her those white roses (make a note) that she makes last for 2 weeks. 

Do you know what makes me want to have sex? Attraction and hormones. Presents don't make me want to take off my pants. Do you know who needs a present to have sex? Hookers. If you feel you have to buy me a present to coerce me into having sex with you, you might as well just give me the cash. You probably don't know what flowers I like anyway. 

So I pose this question to you, dear readers: 

Who is responsible for this continued notion that women need presents and romantic love to feel sexual? Is it that men cannot accept that women are sexual creatures? Do women perpetuate the idea? Who can we blame? Let's pick someone who isn't here. I find that to be the easiest way. 

1 comment:

Wily Guy said...


Where have you been all our lives? I would amend the statement for the relationship between most men and women as "women want something and will use sex to get it, guys will do anything right before sex and might cuddle after."

I've read the Five Love Languages and it doesn't sound like you are a "Receiving Gifts" or an "Acts of Service" and you may just be a "Physical Touch" girl which means you should tweet me your number, except I can't call you...(sigh)


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