Monday, July 2, 2012

Things are going to be otay...

Ah Monday, you old bitch you! I don't know if it's my new outlook on life or what, but I will say that 2 months ago I would have been bawling right about now. I'd have been face down in a pillow crying my eyes out and asking God why he punishes me so. Fortunately, I neither have PMS right now nor the energy to fuss much. It's too damned hot out.

So this is how it went down. The day started out wonderfully. I made it to work early, finished up my reports, did my little "Let's pretend I'm the HR lady" speech for the new folks at work, and managed to wrap up just in time to go to the dentist. SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH. That's when the good times stopped rolling.

I'm a good brusher. I managed to go 35 years and only get two cavities, so I think I did okay. I floss. I do the right things and follow the damned dental rules. Candy is not high on my priority list. My intake of sugary beverages, which the dentist deems unholy, is minimal. There's even a tooth brush in my purse that isn't there in the event that I have an all nighter with a random stranger and need to brush before I do the walk of shame.   Still, bad things sometimes happen to good teeth.

Some of you may recall that I was almost killed by a Tic Tac last month. For those who missed it... I was almost killed by a Tic Tac last month. The little bastard shattered a tooth that my previous dentist said he'd fixed. The tooth was extracted and today I headed back to the new dentist for a full check up and cleaning. There, now you're caught up. Perhaps I chew Tic Tacs like the dentist tells me not to... let's move on.

As the hygienist started to put the bite wing xray in my mouth she said, "Oh, you have wisdom teeth. Let's do the panoramic xray instead." Not realizing that it was actually a doomsday device, I readily agreed. I removed my earrings, nose ring, and necklace and stepped up to the machine. Just what I always wanted, full on brain xray to prove it's there! When we finished I settled back in the chair and waited for Dr. Johnson. I'm not kidding. That's his name. For those of you who don't get it... never mind.

Doc flipped me upside down in the chair, poked at my teeth and gums, made all sorts of "that's good' sounds, and then raised the chair back up. "The wisdom teeth are going to have to come out. They are putting pressure on your back molars and it weakens them and makes it difficult to properly floss between the back teeth. They aren't doing anything but you can see what it did to your tooth we removed. So before we do anything, we need to schedule you for two extractions." he said with a really pleasant look on his face. "Then, we'll take care of the two cavities on the teeth next to them. After that we'll talk about the bridge for the tooth we extracted."

He looked so nonplussed by the whole thing that I didn't expect it to be that bad. I have dental insurance. How bad could it be? Pretty freaking bad as it turns out; $3500 bad to be exact. Of course only about $1000 of that is going to happen anytime soon, but still, holy balls! I took the paperwork and walked out the door.

Maybe I'm still in a daze, but I feel like I should be sad or angry. I am a little pissed off at my last dentist who told me my wisdom teeth didn't need to be removed. It sure would have been nice to have had this done when I had employer sponsored insurance that paid 80% with no waiting periods instead of my private insurance that has a 1 year waiting period on some things and only covers 50% thereafter.

Any damned way, I am not sad. I am heading to Vegas for the weekend and I refuse to let this get me down. I am going to have some fun dammit. After that I will be coming home and selling plasma, hooking on the corner, taking side gigs as a paid assassin, and possibly renting out my back yard as a camp ground. Either way it's all good. Things are going to be otay, Buckwheat. It's going to be otay.
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How was your Monday? 

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