Tuesday, June 12, 2012

In lieu of pity, please send chocolate...or wine.

My mother told me a very long time ago that women who go to the bar alone are only looking for one thing. I'm not looking for that at the bar. As much as I would like to say that I don't live by those stereotypes, that is a big fat freaking lie. If I go to the bar with my friends and I see a girl sitting alone at the bar and she's not joined relatively soon by her friend(s), I assume she's trying to get laid. It's probably sexist of me and I get that, but it's still what I see. If it makes you feel better, I assume that guys who are sitting there alone are either crappy partners, alcoholics, or trying to get laid. I'm an equal opportunity offender.

Unwinding with a drink would be nice, but I can do that at home without having the voice of my mother echoing in my head telling me that people are probably thinking I'm a slut. Unfortunately, at home I have the voice of my father in my head asking me if I have a drinking problem. Either way it sort of blows, but at least the home version of the drinking game doesn't involve having to tip for shitty service to avoid worrying that someone will spit in your drink or food.  

I'm not a "joiner". I can't think of much I'd enjoy less than scrap booking with the ladies or joining a Bunko group. No offense, it's just not me. I don't want to join a book club. I don't want to go to the movies or dinner alone. Most of the time I don't want to do those things with other people. There are a lot of neighbors I've never met and don't particularly care to. It's not that I don't like people; I simply enjoy the time I have at the end of the day and the end of the week where I can put on yoga pants, throw my hair in a ponytail, and eat cold cereal from a Tupperware container without anyone expecting anything or judging. 

I haven't lived with a man since shortly after I bought my house. I've dated off an on over the last 5 years, been in and out of relationships, and on occasion I've met a nice gentleman with which to spend my time. To be honest, I prefer the one-on-one company of a man. I love actual dates, but not nearly as much as I love having someone to chill with at the end of the day. Someone who doesn't require constant conversation, knows how to laugh, and well... all the other things I'd want a man for. 

It's just not in the cards at the moment. I haven't stumbled across that person just yet. It will happen eventually, but until then don't feel sorry for me when you ask me what my plans are for the evening and I run down my typical agenda. If I wanted to be out slutting around I would be. If I wanted to party every night I'd party. My life suits me fine. So in lieu of pity, please send chocolate... or wine. Both would be great.

This works for me. 


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