Saturday, April 14, 2012

What you can expect

I'm in one of those phases in my life where I just don't think I can deal with any serious business outside of my own life. Yes, I am going to keep up with my obligations and do everything that they require of me. I am not going to back out of anything I've committed to. However, in order to answer any questions to follow, here is what you can expect of me for the next couple of months:

1. Job referrals and kick ass references. Go ahead and tell people I was your boss. It's cool. Just let me know what you did for me first mmkay? Oh and mention that they should keep the call under 2 minutes. Thanks.
2. Dead silence and what seems like I am not really connected to the conversation.
3. Me bursting into song for no reason except that there's a soundtrack playing in my head.
4. Lots of stupid smiles and ditzy nods. Sorry about that. (not really)
5. Blogs. Like 3-5 a week. All full of romantic conjecture and hypothesizing and theorizing and other izings.
6. My phone going to voice mail.
7. More tweets less sweets! (this is my new diet plan. if I think about eating junk food I'm going to tweet instead)
8. Me being totally capable of relating to ANYTHING  by saying things like, "OMG ME TOO!" Let's not talk about your swollen prostate. That just makes it harder for me. (that's what she said)

In the meantime, this is the crap going through my head:

Friday 9 PM- 11 PM
How in the hell can my hair get curlier with dry weather AND humid weather? Who in the hell put Air Supply on this play list? Me? Alright, but only one. YAY BILLY JOEL! How in the hell long have I been watching the TV on mute? Grimm was awesome tonight! Ding fries are done! Did I seriously just sing into my Diet Dew bottle like a microphone? I did. This is an all time low. Maybe this is one of those Jennifer Garner moments when I'm really still 13. Seriously, when you sing into this bottle it's like a ghetto version of Mr. Microphone. I should go to bed early. Twitter works on my phone. Great. I'll never get a damned thing done now.

Saturday 8:30 AM- Present
Sonofabitch! I have two hours to get ready for the wedding. I wonder if fashionable fucked up hair is still in. Dress or pants dress or pants... dress. Those stockings have a run. Why the hell do I have stockings with runs? Okay... dress, makeup, something with my hair, card, new stockings, gas in the car. ARGHHHHHHHHHH

Alright kids. I'm off to make another drive to Iowa for my cousin's wedding. Don't do anything I wouldn't do while I'm gone and if you have a party I expect to be invited even though I can't go and if you have it at my house please tidy up before you leave... oh and someone put my treadmill together. Put it in the office. Thanks.

Here's a little mood music for the day (I wanted to dress like a Winette for the wedding):


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