Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Wag Vs. Angie: Have that threesome!


Welcome back to Wag Vs. Angie, A new match whenever the hell we feel like it! 
(We’ve switched to a bi-monthly schedule and generally Wednesdays). 

So let’s do a little catch up first.

Getting to know us… getting to know all about us… cue the Von Trapp children!

Shane is an American Midwest guy living in Austria with his wife and 30 children. He enjoys beers with the boys, the kids, the neighbors, and bubble baths. He’s crude, rude, and full of ‘tude. Some of that is true and some of it was just added because I like rhyming words. Shane is the sensitive loving side of Wag Vs Angie.

Angie is bossy and cynical and all about herself.  She’s a bitter divorcee living in the Midwest because her kids, even though it’s been encouraged, haven’t packed up and vacated the premises. She believes in common sense in relationships and has the best advice in the world that she’s, as yet, been unable to apply to herself.

Anyhooters, this week’s topic is threesomes; Nasty, filthy, fun-filled, sex romps that include 3 people and various implements of pleasure. Feathers, whips, hand cuffs, and whipped cream sold separately. Sometimes it's just 3 people partially clothed. Now that we know what a threesome is, let’s get down to the nitty gritty. Off with your pants! You can check out Shane's view over here... Wag The Dad 

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Your spouse suggests that you bring in a 3rd party for a threesome. You’re into it, but you’re not sure how far it should go. What now?


Here’s what I’m thinking, folks. You only go around once (I know some of you have been around a few times amiright or amiright) so you might as well make it a hell of a ride. You’re into it. Your partner is into it. Now you just need to find someone who’s willing to be “into it” with you. Let’s go over a few ground rules.

-Talk about what your expectations are and what your partner’s expectations are.

-Determine what is off limits. Is this an oral presentation? How do you feel about watching your partner having full on sex with another person? This needs to be addressed before the action starts.

-The additional person must be slightly less attractive than both yourself and your partner. This will help to avoid any of those pesky “Is he/she better looking than me?” questions.

-Don’t pick someone you know. Trust is important, but choosing your partner’s best friend as the third party will not end well. Count on it.

-You might want to take a camera. I doubt this is going to ever happen again.

-Maintain eye contact with your partner at all times. I don’t care what you’re doing down there… keep your eye on your partner.

These are not hard and fast rules, but should help increase the comfort level AFTER the deed is done. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if you start with discussing expectations and ground rules, and then decide that neither of you is as into the actual deed as you are the fantasy. Fantasies are not ALWAYS meant to be fulfilled.

What you do in your marriage/relationship is nobody’s business, but your own. Please remember that when you invite someone else into your bedroom… that’s no longer the case. Keep these things in mind before you ask that cute guy/girl at the bar to come home with you and your spouse mmmkay?

Sexploration within relationships is best done when the couple is secure in their sexuality, themselves, and their love and fidelity to each other. If you don’t meet these criteria there is a very good chance that the outcome will be negative and can even go as far as destroying your relationship. 



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