Monday, April 16, 2012

The Invention of Lying taught me NOTHING

Me- I had someone sitting with me that day, so they will have spoken to Tony. 

Client- Are you leaving me, Angie?

Me- What? No, but I am thinking of getting married... (Why the fuck did I just say that?). 

Client- I see, and then you're leaving me? Are you leaving the company completely or just me?

Me- I don't know. Really, they just put all new people at my desk. I need to let you go now. Talk to you soon. Bye! 

This is what happens when I am put on the spot. I do not like having to lie to anyone, much less someone I respect. I've mentioned before that I have a very free conversational style with my client. He works from an office in NY and I work from the office in SD. He's called my desk before and I've answered, "I thought I told you never to call me here!" We've exchanged new and horrible ways to describe people we don't like. He's allowed me to be honest about how I feel projects are going, and aside from the fact that I simply do not like this particular job and it makes me want to send the kids out to a movie and dinner while I rest my head in the oven, we've got a great working relationship.

Now, in order to not make myself look like a liar-liar-pants-on-fire, I have two options.

1. Confess that I am in fact leaving him and moving to a different position. 
2. Get married. 

Right now I'm leaning toward getting the "fiance" and buying myself a pretty cubic zirconia to show off in the event that he says, "Well congratulations, Angie! Let's see the ring!" Because you know all men are just dying to see the ring. I was able to secure a sexy guy on Twitter today. He has agreed to a 15 year engagement with absolutely no premarital sex. After 15 years of waiting I think one or both of us could explode on the wedding night. And I'm okay with that... as long as I don't have to lie.

Oh hey, there's some other good news. I'm transitioning out which is why I've been training my replacement and my liver is on the rebound. So how do you like THAT for a Monday? I got a new pretend fiance, a reason to shop for jewelry, and a new job. Booyah!

Alright kids, tell Angie all about your Monday. Make it good. If you've got nothing good to offer give me the bad. Let it out. You'll feel better!

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