Monday, April 9, 2012

The Bandwagon Effect

If you've ever been single for any amount of time, and are/were active on the dating market, you will find that it's often a case of feast or famine. We've talked a bit before about the things that make a person sexy; Confidence, class, humor, sincerity, etc. One of the things that failed to make the list was "in love". I know that I'm not the only one who has noticed it, but I'll explain for those who haven't.

It never seems to fail that if I am in the market for a date no one will call, but let me fall in love and the tides change quickly. There is something relaxed, confident, and attractive about the look of love. Whatever feeling that evokes in the opposite sex draws them to the twitterpated like flies to honey. They've written songs about the look of love, but I have another theory.

One of my best guy friends swore that he got more action from women when wearing a wedding band. He's not married, has no desire to be married, and really just enjoys a nice piece of a$$ from time to time. I can't fault him. He's single. It's his life. I've since watched it occur and I was both amazed and disgusted. When he wore the wedding band his admirers increased twofold. His personality didn't change. He was wearing the same clothes. He had the same smile. The only difference was that when he was wearing the ring he was "unavailable".


I'm obviously slow on the uptake. I listened to this song on the way to school and on the way home and on the radio in my room and and and... and you would have thought I'd put two and two together. It's a cheesy 80s ballad based on the truth, folks. You don't know what you've got, until it's gone. It would also seem that many people don't want what they HAD until someone else has it.

Do you have Facebook? If you're a single person (male or female) on Facebook, and you have past partners as friends you might notice the following phenomenon:

Weeks go by without a word, not a syllable, no calls, no texts. You resign yourself to the fact that you won't be dating that person again, regardless of how good the chemistry seemed. After all, what use do you have for someone who has no time for you? Then something miraculous happens. You find someone that makes you happy. The clouds part, sunlight floods through, and angels sing.

All of the sudden those people that didn't have time to talk before are coming out of the wood work. It's all about the bandwagon effect. This is the only way I can think to explain it. "I didn't want you until I realized other people wanted you, and if you're that special then I want in on the action." They don't know what they had... until it was gone.




Is it human nature to want what you can't have? What is your experience with the adult version of the Toddler's Creed? 


If I want it, it's mine.
If I gave it to you and I change my mind later,
it's mine.
If I can take it away from you,
it's mine.
If I had it a little while ago,
it's mine.
If it's mine, it will never belong to anyone else,
no matter what.
If we are building something together,
all the pieces are mine.
If it looks like mine, it's mine.







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