Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Wag and Angie: Controlling Wife-Spineless Husband

Are you freaking kidding me?
When I got this topic I couldn't stop making that really pissy face I make when I am... well, when I am really pissy. I am going to write my response as if I am writing to this couple directly. I hope you can appreciate that. You can see Shane's response over at WagtheDad

My neighbor's wife is on a diet and now she not only will not have sex with him, she consistently tells him how she'd be better off without him even though she apparently doesn't mean it, and now she has started censoring the four hours of TV he has after all the chores he does (wrong, of course).

She doesn't work outside the home, he works fifty hours a week. He watches the kids with him when he's home because she is insane housecleaning lady who refuses to allow him to pay for a cleaning lady, says he's incompetent when he tries to clean, and sees his watching the kids as goofing around and not helping around the house.

But now he's starting to internalize it, and refers to himself as a loser. To make matters worse, she keeps asking him why he can't be more like me or my other neighbor, thus planting the seeds of a wedge between us.

Dear Sir,

If what I am seeing is true, you really need to find your balls. Let me give you a few suggestions on where to look.

1. In your wife’s purse where she keeps your spine
2. In the jar she collects your swearing punishment money, you lazy rat bastard
3. In the coffin where she sleeps during the day while you’re working 50 hours a week while the sun is up

Normally I save my crudeness for my personal friends who don’t complain because I know too many of their secrets, but today you’re going to get a little taste. Is her vagina made of gold? Is there some sort of monetary value you can place on it? No? How about your self-worth? Does THAT have any value? You want to raise your children with a sense of wellbeing, accomplishment, and belief that as long as they do their level best that they will be, at the very least, appreciated. Yet somehow, you believe that living in a home where you are belittled and treated like an imbecile seems like a fitting example?

Ask yourself this, if you saw a man treating his wife the way your wife treats you how would you feel? Personally, I get just as bad of a taste in my mouth when I see a woman henpecking her husband as I do when I see a man ruling a woman with an iron fist. It’s a freaking personality disorder. Controlling behavior is NOT okay, regardless of your sexual plumbing. You need to stand up for yourself. Your wife compares you to other men because she does not live with them. EVERYONE has faults.

Are you doing your level best, Sparky? Stop letting her compare you to other men unless one of them is willing to take her bitchy ass off your hands.

Dear Madam,

Lucy, you got some ‘splaining to do. Lady, I don’t know how you grew up. I don’t know what your plan for raising your own children is. I don’t know your plans for your future marital status. What I do know is that if you keep on the way you’re keeping on... the decision might be made for you. Do you realize that when someone spends 50+ hours a week outside of the home making money to feed their family and keep a roof over their heads they get pretty damned tired. When they come home to wrangle the kids so you can make every single thing in the house show worthy, their day gets even longer. No one is taking away from your obvious desire to present a perfect image to the rest of the ‘hood, but loosen the hell up!

From the sounds of things, you speak to your husband like a child and treat him as such. Unfortunately, I know for a fact that none of my kids are willing or able to work 50 hour weeks to support my ass. What in the hell is so wrong with your life that you feel the need to pull that choke chain so tight? Were you belittled by a parent when you were growing up? Did you grow up watching one of your parents belittling or bullying your other parent? The crap you’re pulling is psychological, to put it kindly. It’s heinous bitch to put it frankly.

The lesson you’re passing on to their children is one of two things.

1. It’s okay to be a completely insensitive bitch to people you’re supposed to love if they aren’t doing things your way, and it doesn’t matter how they feel about it.

2. It’s okay to let someone treat you like you’re an idiot even when you’re doing everything you can to meet their needs. Be a door mat. It’s easier than facing the wrath of a bully.

I will pass on one more tidbit of information that you might not be aware of... people who feel unappreciated often seek appreciation from other sources. He might not cheat on you, but if you continue to treat your man like he can’t do anything that pleases you, or you continue to remind him you’d be better off without you, he might just let you be without him. It’s pretty simple.

I don’t want to hear about the feminist bullshit of how men have dominated women for centuries. The point of equality was to do away with that nonsense... not use it as a tool to get even. Your great-grandma isn’t in your marriage. YOU ARE. Learn to say thank you once in awhile. Remember, when you compare him to your male neighbors that he could probably just as easily find a woman on the block who makes a better banana bread or hangs the laundry to dry instead of throwing it in the dryer on a perfectly nice day. As Erma Bombeck wrote, ‘The Grass Is Always Greener On the Other Side of the Septic Tank’.

Your Friendly Relationship-Blogging Bitch

Alright folks, let's hear it. Thoughts? Words of wisdom? 

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