Friday, February 10, 2012

Name Changed To Protect The Idiot: What men want

I have a vast collection of stupidity from IM that I've collected over the course of the past few years. From time to time I dig through these little jewels of ridiculousness and find something that still drives me to frustration. On the off chance that one of these people or their friends and family might stumble across or stumbleupon this little piece of web-delight... Idiots will be renamed to NCTPTI (name changed to protect the idiot).

I've never understood why men find women to be so complicated. While it's true that I don't understand many people, I can tell you I'm equally confused by men and women. Here's what I've got nailed down. One group has innies*. One group has outies**. Neither group seems to understand the other, except in the case of how innies and outies work together. Hell, even then it seems every innie has a preference that doesn't necessarily meet the requirements of the outie, and just as often the other way around. 

Still the following conversation left me a little skeptical of those men who insist they don't think women need makeup or that women are the ones that fall prey to what society tells us we should look like. 

NCTPTI says: Women give men what society has told them men want, the things that make society run, things that make others money. Like makeup and hair products. I don't care about that. I want my woman to be a fresh hippy chick.

Angie says: Let me get this straight. If you had a plain wife who is not really attractive, but not ugly... 

NCTPTI says: I wouldn't have a plain wife. I'm not ugly. Just saying she doesn't need makeup. She doesn't need to dye her hair. 

Angie says: Stand two identical women side by side, one wearing light makeup with her hair smoothed and laying nicely and the other natural. I mean no makeup, skin likely blotchy, hair tweaked up at the cowlick, and frizzy. $10 says you will "respond" to the one who is wearing the makeup and tamed hair. 

NCTPTI says: I prefer naturally cute. Like the girl from 4 Non Blondes with the dreads. She was really natural and cute. 

Angie says: Hypocrite. You get your idea of what a fresh "natural" hippy is from TV and music videos. She had dreads... which is a hairstyle. She was always wearing makeup. Even the porn you watch and men's mags you buy feature airbrushed versions of what you say that you want. 

NCTPTI says: I would rather she just put more effort in her performance in bed than 30 minutes getting ready. She could stay looking natural and spend that 30 minutes elsewhere if you catch my meaning. he he 

Angie says: You would have to WANT to take her to bed first. I watch Millionaire Matchmaker. I know the penis does the picking. I'm sure there's a narrow niche for it somewhere, but you don't see a version of Playboy featuring tired housewife/mom with frizzed out hair, adult acne, and bags under her eyes. 

*Vagina **Penis

For the guys: What do you really think about makeup and hair? Would you be okay if your wife/girlfriend stopped fancying herself up for you? What about when you're looking for a partner?

For the ladies: Do you feel you've been sold a bill of goods in the "what men want" category? Once you've bagged your prey (that's right... I said it) do you find yourself comfortable not doing anything with your hair or makeup? How much is for you and how much is for him?

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