Friday, January 20, 2012

I might be sorry for what I possibly sent. Perhaps.

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I'm dead sick today. I can barely hear, my throat is on fire, someone poked me in the eyes with red-hot pokers, and my voice has taken a vacation. On a positive note, during brief moments of consciousness there really isn't anything better to do than contemplate the important issues in your life. After all, some of the most profound thoughts come to us when we are less than lucid. Lucidity lends itself to over-thinking, which has never helped me one bit. Nay, it's the detached and foggy mind, overcome by fever, that draws the most rational conclusions.

At least that's what I decided last night when my fever hit 102, my voice turned into breathy squeaks alternating with absolute silence, and I was quite possibly dehydrated and slightly delusional. I recall thinking some pretty horrible things about a guy I'd seen for awhile. My fever addled brain had some pretty detailed ideas of what I would say to him if I ever saw him again. I remember feeling all fired up and my inner bitch clawing her way out. Boy oh boy, would I ever give him a piece of my mind! I even thought about calling him to tell him what I really thought. Very awesome idea. I would say, "You are such a f... " Then I must have drifted off to sleep. 

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My first lucid thought came when I woke to the sound of an incoming text message. My son wanted to let me know that he'd made it to school (holy crap I don't remember him leaving). Quite impressed with how long I'd slept, I thought it might be a good idea to check my other messages to make sure I didn't sleep through anything important... like the weekend, or follow through on my mentally unstable plan to let Bitchy Angie have control of the phone. 

Wouldn't you know it, with the exception of the recent text from my son, my entire text history (which had been close to full) was empty. I have no recollection of deleting anything, let alone months of saved messages. "Oh, shit!" was the only thing I could muster.

I hope I spelled all the big words right; Pompous, obnoxious, douche, bastard...My unconscious texts are horrible! Oh well... I'm going back to bed.

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