Confession is good for the soul.
How many times have you heard that over the course of your life? I heard it in church growing up, from my Catholic friends when I teased them about attending confession, and from an older friend who convinced me that unburdening myself would improve my marriage. What a complete load of crap. In the case of infidelity this is the biggest load of self-serving bullshit I’ve ever heard.
Tonight as I watched TV I was reminded of this little bit of guidance. Maybe this is a topic best left to a Wag Vs. Angie forum, but it's weighing on my mind. A man confesses to his wife that he gave his secretary a ride home one evening after an office celebration. Upon delivering the young secretary to her door, the waif kissed him. Confession occurs. Cue fireworks. The episode (plus those that follow) is wrought with hurt feelings, distrust, internal and external struggles, and the questioning of vows, self-worth, self-esteem, and respect.
I think most of us know someone in our lives whether it be a friend, neighbor, sibling, parent, or even ourselves who has been in a situation where the above, or worse, has occurred. Skeletons in people's closets exist for a reason... because they aren't taken out for display. Still, there are a lot of people who step out on their spouses, but the weight of the guilt is too much for them to bear. Often those people come clean. What strikes me most about those situations is that far more people will applaud the person who confesses than they will the person who keeps the infidelity to themselves.
|Holy man at your service...|
Do you know whose soul confession is good for? The guilty. Don't kid yourself. The idea behind the wisdom of confession is to confess your sin to God. The purpose was to encourage man to admit to himself and to God that he was not perfect and to ask for forgiveness. The goal was not to take the burden of your shame and lay it on another person.
It most certainly is not meant to be confessed to someone you love and will hurt in doing so. What purpose does it serve to confess your sin to your partner? Yes, you will feel better for telling them. True, you won't have to hide it anymore. You can even ask THEM for forgiveness. Congratulations.
If your infidelity has put such a heavy burden on your soul then you are the person who should bear that cross. If you are a believer and feel that confession is necessary, find a holy man. Do not lay that package at your wife’s or husband’s feet without considering the impact that little relief for you will have on your partner.
Alright, the sermon is done. Please put some money in the plate when it comes around. It pays for the candles and the robes. No, not the ones for the acolytes.... the ones for spa time.
Mother Angie... out!