Tuesday, December 20, 2011

I wouldn't even know what to do with a limp one. Would you?

There are people who will tell you that December flat lines in the sales world when you are a service provider or when you're working in B2B sales. I am here to tell you that is complete bullshit. If you're good at sales you WILL get call backs. You WILL sell something this month. Unfortunately, that person is not me.

The hardest part of working in my field during the month of December is urge to just take all of your saved up comp/vacation time and run like hell. Twice today I've found myself wondering exactly how much time I would need to take if I left RIGHT THIS MINUTE. It's the office equivalent of laying in bed staring at the alarm clock during a particularly rough patch of insomnia. Except it's nearly 8 hours straight and sitting upright. No one likes that.

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On a positive note, pretty much everyone in the office is feeling the same pain. At about 10 AM I found myself staring Forrest Gump-like at my monitor and knew that there wasn't any amount of sugar or caffeine that would help break the December doldrums. That's when I heard the words that would change my day. "I've learned to never give a woman a limp one."

(2 points to the person who knows what this was about)

Excuse me what? How long did it take you to learn that? What are you talking about? Oh my. Maybe I should sit back down. No, it's too late. I've already looked at them with my "holy shit do you realize how that sounded" face.


Just like that, our minds went in the general direction of our sales. From that point on the place sort of livened up a bit. Maybe it was lunch or the extra super strong finely ground World Market coffee, but I personally believe that was the moment we slipped over the edge of sanity.

Runner-up for best overheard in the office

Dawn: "Now just roll them around in your hands a little."
(unheard customer)
Dawn: "I know how to have a good time."

If I leave right now I'll miss a conference call, 4 PM traffic, and I'd only need 21 minutes of PTO to cover it. 20.



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