When I'm not here reading, writing, commenting, and searching for new blogs... I have regular conversations just like you. I go shopping, talk with my friends on the phone, at work, on Facebook, and on messenger. I'm no different than you. We're exactly the same. Like identical. Really.
Cashier: Are you over 21? I think you are.
Me: What gave it away? The fact that I'm buying fuses and a furnace filter? All the cool young kids are buying those these days aren't they?
Cashier: No, you just don't look that young. I mean...You don't look like... (blushing).. You know what I mean.
Me: Uh yeah... you have a good night.
In the ladies room
Me: I was? Was I cute?
Dawn: It wasn't like that. We were having an intervention for you.
Me: Oh? (panic setting in)
Dawn: You were down to 90 pounds. You were on a treadmill and you had these big knees and stick like legs.
Me: Oh, okay.
Dawn: It wasn't about that. The intervention wasn't about your weight. It was about your butt. You had no butt left.
Me: (trying to look at my own butt)... Okay, but was I cute?
In the Office
Coworker- That's how you know you've reached rock bottom.
Coworker- Being traded for cigarettes in the county lock up.
Me: OMG I thought you were ejaculating money. Had to check in.
David: lol, If only
Me: When that happens my # is ###-###-####
Becca: Men are so sensitive.
Me: I know, right? It's okay for me to get so mad I cry, but men should go off and scratch something. It's their job.
On the Phone
Friend: Guess what I did.
Me: My God. Did you get something else pierced?
Friend: Yeah... but that's not all.
Me: Oh shit.
Me: Oh shit.
See... I'm just like you. We're the same! What? Yes we are!