I don't mean to be all Braggy McBragster, but the fact is that if I am home for the weekend there will be others there as well. Okay okay... I am super popular, maybe not with my family, but I'm big in Japan. Mostly because I am 5'9".
As I prepared to leave the house this morning I checked the list I'd been compiling lo these many weeks. Then I checked it again, scratched a few things off, made another list, misplaced it, rewrote it, found the original, almost fell down the stairs, and stubbed my toe on a chair. Oddly it wasn't even a Christmas list I was checking. This is standard procedure in my world for a trip to Casa de Mama . The holiday is merely coincidence at this point.
At any rate, there is food to be made and I'm going to make some of it. My brother and his wife are pulling out all the stops (lobster bisque), Mom is doing pan seared scallops, my little sister will undoubtedly shock my arteries with something full fat, and I feel it's only right that I step up my game a little as well. My contributions this trip will include the following:
2. Bacon-Crab spread (I am told this item is 100% responsible for giving at least one girl with a flat ass a nice round badonk) Thx Matt!
3. Crab legs (if they aren't all gone when I get to the store - no room in the freezer)
4. Brie en croute (with raspberry)
5. Fiery bloody Mary mix (not making this but I know where to get the best of it)
My car is jam packed full of awesome. Aside from the many groceries I am hauling I've got the Christmas presents for the little ones, my own luggage, and 3 sleeping bags taking up space. My own possessions include countless articles of clothing I won't actually wear, at least one pair of shoes I don't know why I bothered to pack, more hair product and implements of youth maintenance than you can shake a stick at, and shit I forgot to take out of my bag the last time I traveled (much like the 3 sleeping bags above that have filled the trunk of the car since July). At this point gale force winds couldn't blow my car off the road.
So with that, I'm outta here... I have to brave Walmart before I leave town and grab a few last minute items from the many lists I've compiled. Wish me luck and pray I don't strangle any hill billies. Merry Christmas!