Is it okay to tell your partner that they need to lose weight? Yes. It most certainly is.
Weight is a heavy topic. Pun intended. Our society has reached a stage where we have cured diseases that had once been cause for a much shorter average life span. At the same time we have developed time saving conveniences and in the process have become less healthy and quite a bit lazier. We traded our small pox, measles, rubella, and polio for heart disease, diabetes, and various other ailments that are brought on by and/or exasperated by obesity.
We are not talking about a slight weight gain that comes on with age (5-10 pounds). When someone is over weight there tends to be an underlying cause. Whether it’s a medical illness or depression… continuing to ignore the problem will not help the situation. If you value your partner’s health you will say something. The question is HOW do you go about saying it. You must be kind or your message will come across as nothing more than a slap to the face. Explain that you love them regardless of their weight, but that you want them to be around to love. One of my ex boyfriends used to call me names, make jokes about my “blubber”, and point out how much heavier I was than him in front of other people. This made me more depressed and in the process I ate more and gained more.
I would caution you to sweep your own doorstep first. If you’re carrying an extra 20 pounds you may want to approach the matter in another way altogether. Make healthier food choices as a family. Join a gym together and ACTUALLY go. Take up more physical activities the two of you can do together. Even if you’re not carrying the extra weight you would be wise to try the above suggestions. Relationships are made stronger by shared interests and activities. In the process you will both shape up, reduce health risks, and drop some pounds.
Of course there is a caveat.
Know your reasons for bringing it up. If you’re angry and feeling hurtful it’s probably not the weight you’re lashing out about. If your spouse has just had a baby you should be shot for telling them they could stand to lose a few. You may end up losing a couple of things yourself.
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