Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Sing it with me- Picture pages, picture pages...

When I started out the day I was blissfully blank, and looking forward to a day of mind numbing desk action. I got that in spades. By 10 AM there wasn't an active thought in my head. There was a brief moment somewhere around 11:30 where I accidentally thought about my job, but we all know it's easier to do a mind numbing job if you quit trying, so I went back to that. You're probably wondering what sort of career path I'm on. To be honest, so am I. Regardless, I managed to knock out my work super early my program is at goal for the month and it's only day two.

What do you do with the rest of the day when you've completed your work and you have this lovely place to visit? You write, of course. So I opened up the browser, and I stared. I looked at the screen a little longer and still came up blank. I made a list.

I stared at the list, and then proceeded to think about everything except what was on it. Instead I thought about going on vacation, sex, how I wished I'd brought the chai tea latte concentrate to work, and why people send me "just so you know" texts that have nothing to do with me. Christ on a bike people! Get a blog if you want to share unimportant shit with the world! I'm busy with nothing and can't be bothered!  

So instead of sharing anything of any intrinsic value... I'm going to share things that make me smile.

These pictures are the way I get out of babysitting. I think it's abundantly clear that I should not be left alone with my own children, let alone anyone else's. We saw giant dryers at a laundromat and I thought... my kids would fit in there. Guess what... they did. One at a time, of course. I'm not cruel enough to make them sit that close together. Ewww.

As you can see... my son was a little more traumatized by the entire situation. Alex just looked at me like... alright but this is the last time. Jacob hadn't played the dryer game before. First time for everything kiddo! In you go! If only I had $.75. Damn the luck!

Sometimes you go out of your way to give your kids experiences you didn't have growing up. What kid from the Midwest doesn't want to go to LA? That's right. No kid would pass it up. All kids would be overjoyed at the opportunity to walk the streets of Hollywood around midnight. Seeing people sleeping in doorways is just something you don't get in South Dakota. Okay maybe you do, but only in the summer. Some people weren't impressed. Those people would be my "tired, annoyed, just want to go back to the frackin' hotel already you crazy bitch" kids.

These are the shots I like to call the "I will kill you and shove that camera up you so far you will taste it in the back of your throat if you take one more G*d damned picture of me" photos. I thought I'd done them a solid. Hell I bought them fake IDs earlier in the evening (My son chose to be McLovin), let them walk through a haze that I'm fairly certain was pot smoke, and got them each a hooker and some blow (no, I didn't. Well I did the other things, but not the hookers and blow).
So what next...? Where do we go from here. We can cross kids off the list. I'm committed to a relationship post on Friday. Eh... either way, the rest of that list is my b*tch and I'll do something with it. 


mark @ yelling near you said...

I've tried all sorts of concentrates but none helped me focus at work. Let me know if chai tea concentrate does.
Related to the kids in laundromat dryers, what is your opinion on using large breed dog kennels for child containment? How old can they get before that's frowned upon?

Angie said...

So far it's not helped me concentrate, Mark. You know what does? Pretending I'm someone else. I pretend to be someone who cares and is nice. It keeps me on my game. It's sort of like character acting. HA! I am so kidding. I don't do that either.

Hmmm large dog kennels... I prefer the standard outside dog run myself. Either way, as soon as they learn to unhook the kennel or their halter you're screwed.

Linda Medrano said...

This reminds me of when I put my Granddaughter, 6 year old Abbey Rose, in the crate with the dog and took her picture. She was grinning though!

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