Still, after years of not needing anyone, I had to face the truth. I wanted someone to share my life with. It took me a long time to figure out that I might have priced myself out of the relationship market. Then one day a good friend told me to "take off the tool belt". At first I was offended, but the more I looked at my situation, I knew he was right. I didn't need a man, but it came across a lot like "I don't want a man" or "you wouldn't be good enough anyway".
|Nothing says, "Love me!" like a big old "F*ck off!"|
Some of us have priced ourselves out of the market. What started for many women as a necessity has blossomed into career. We stepped "out of the kitchen and into the office". Now that we know we can earn a living, pay the bills, feed the kids, do the housework, fix broken things, and use power tools it would be difficult to get many women to give that up.
Like the Little Red Hen... if you want it done (and done right) you'll do it alllllll by yourself. You will till the soil, plant the wheat, harvest the grain, grind it, and bake the bread. If you remember that story... she ate the bread alone, too. All by herself.
The other day I happened across Single Motherhood Bliss. The title of the post caught my eye first, He's Just Not That Into You. I'd read the book and seen the movie so reading what someone else had to say about it piqued my interest. As I read further, I realized it was much more than a book/movie review. What if we're expecting too much from men? Jessica had my attention. It seems to be a common topic around these parts lately!
There's nothing wrong with being self-sufficient, but when you're in a relationship isn't there supposed to be give and take? Well adjusted, caring, and considerate people do not enjoy taking advantage of others. They want to contribute. They want to feel necessary, needed, helpful, and in a relationship they want to feel as if they add something good to the other person's life. Are we not letting men add to our lives?
I see the way my daughter's boyfriend/fiance takes care of her. More than that, I see the way she lets him take care of her. I also see the way she bakes him cakes, listens when he wants to talk, and hangs out with him while he kills zombies. Will she discover that she doesn't "need" him to take care of her? When/If she does... will she be wise enough to let him take care of her anyway?