|Image from antonybennison.com|
Yesterday was Thanksgiving potluck day in our office. With so many people being out next week, we felt the best thing to do was start the binge early and embrace our gluttony with the giant bear hug of true American's. We're a thankful bunch doncha know! I wore my least constricting attire just short of donning the XL sweat pants I bought 5 years ago with the drawstring. Tuesday evening I threw another mile onto my evening jog in hopes that I'd be able to mitigate some of the damage.
The spread covered everything a good binge-purge session should, plus oyster stuffing, lefsa, something with sour kraut, and various breads of the world (okay not so much of the world). If you read my gluttony post, you'll know that potlucks don't really contain healthy food choices (aside from the obligatory veggie tray). I never hear anyone say "Oh, I'll bring a giant mixed salad with mandarin oranges, walnuts, and raspberry vinegrette!" Do you know why? Because it's STUPID! Do you know why else? Because it's STUPID! Wanna go three for three? That person would be ridiculed to the point of having grounds for a harassment lawsuit.
I want to clear up a little confusion about "salad". If you make a fruit "salad" that consists of various fruits tossed in a mixture of either whipped cream or pudding, it is not a salad. It's not even a damned parfait, okay? Aside from a few strawberries, grapes, blueberries, or whatever the hell fruit you're throwing in that bitch, if you mix it with pudding or Cool Whip it's a dessert. I don't care what your Methodist, Catholic, Lutheran, or Presbyterian cook book says (I name those specifically because I believe I have one of each).
So to the woman who brought the Jello and Cool Whip "fruit salad" in a graham cracker crust yesterday, thanks for bringing pie.
I'm going to blame the Norwegian and Swedish immigrants for this lie. One cold blustery Wednesday night, long long ago in North Dakota or Minnesota, it was decided that fruits and veggies fall into the same food group, therefore uncooked fruits would fall into the category of salad. In order to stretch the fruit a bit further, it was fluffed up with Cool Whip. Fruit salad was born.
Perhaps this helps you understand what a woman means when she says, "I eat nothing but salad and the weight still isn't coming off!" I guess it could be the ranch dressing, bacon, cheese, and seasoned croutons on the lettuce salad... but I am not sure it's legal to eat lettuce without those 4 things. Pretty sure it's not.