Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Bringing Back the 70's Porn Stache

Everywhere I look lately I see what appear to be the human version of the Chia Pets. It wasn't terribly obvious until the middle of last week, but today it's simply impossible to miss. The 70's porn stache is back and badder than ever. Well, it's ALMOST back. Let's just say it's getting that bad.

I'm fairly used to seeing men in my parent's age group with facial hair. It's almost expected that at some point in time Midwest guys will attempt to pull off some sort of mustache or beard. When I started seeing the younger guys sporting the old "Flavor Saver" look I had to think about kittens and rainbows to keep myself from:


A) Breaking out in hysterical laughter
or
B) Staring with a look of confusion and mild disgust

You can't help yourself. You either want to point and laugh or knit your brows frown. First attempts to sprout full growth on the upper lip tend to end up looking a little more like what you'd see on your old grandma when she's given up the ghost on tweezing those hormone hairs. The overall effect is something reminiscent of a penciled-in effect. It's patchy, uneven, and looks skeezy/dirty in general.

Some guys only need to try a couple of times before they are able to really put a nice thick caterpillar-esque stache. Others will never be able to grow one... their facial hair preferring to migrate to a strange patch on the cheek, massive owl like brows, out the ears, or to gnarly straggling chin pubes. Regardless of which category a man finds himself in... he can put that stache to good use. No, I don't mean mustache rides or saving flavors. Here's how!



During November each year, Movember is responsible for the sprouting of moustaches on thousands of men’s faces, in the US and around the world. With their Mo’s, these men raise vital funds and awareness for men’s health, specifically prostate cancer and other cancers that affect men.

These selfless and generous men, known as Mo Bros, groom, trim and wax their way into the annals of fine moustachery. Supported by the women in their lives, Mo Sistas, Movember Mo Bros raise funds by seeking out sponsorship for their Mo-growing efforts.

My friend Max is participating in Movember and doing a right fine job! I'm torn between pegging him as Burt Reynolds circa Smoky and the Bandit (1977) or Tom Selleck in his Magnum PI days. It's been a few days since he's shown us the progress... so maybe he's gone Borat by now. 

I see pink ribbons all over the place, own a few myself, and through my Avon rep status support breast cancer awareness. While there IS a blue ribbon campaign for prostate cancer, the voice isn't as loud. That needs to change. 

So please... if you get a chance, go on over and check out Max's Porn Stache and if you feel so inclined throw a few bucks his way. Somewhere a man with an itchy, rodent like strip of hair on his lip is making himself the face of prostate cancer. That alone deserves a little respect! 

Mo Merchandise      Mo Money      Mo News      Mens Health  




Image from arbitrage.com

18 comments:

anonblog said...

nice post!

Jen said...

I have forwarded this to MY frien Max as well. As he lives life like a porn star it's only befitting that he rock the look.

Angie said...

Anon,
Well thank you! Also... if it's not past yet, Happy Birthday!

Angie said...

Jen,
Maybe he can join the movement! :)

Becca said...

Pornstache frightens me to no end.... the fight for prostate cancer pretty awesome...

Ed said...

I always forget about doing this until it's too late.

I can do a stauche, although I usually prefer clean shaven. It's the beard I have trouble growing. Too much native american blood. It comes in splotchy.

I definitely need to do this next year.

Andrea said...

Very cool!

wagthedad said...

I think it's awesome that people are finally doing something to support men's sexual health, which is still hovering around 1959, at least compared to women's health.

But I can't bring myself to grow a mustache. I have had a goatee, so I know that I CAN grow a mustache, but...yuck.

Last year I met this guy at a party with a mustache and he invited me and a couple of other people to go to this other event and yadda yadda but I was all "I don't know if I can trust a guy with a mustache," and apparently I was staring at it, because he explained why he had it and after that I was able to trust him and hang out with him for the rest of the night until he ditched me to talk to some cooler people.

Wasn't that a great story?

Fred said...

Tessa tells me that she likes my Doobie Brothers look. But the real reason she approves is that all her girlfriends despise it and will not even let me hug them. They remember when I was all shaven and shorn ten years ago. I can see them gagging when they look at me. Ah, well.

Mrs. Tuna said...

Hey!!! You are the big winner in the wine review. Decided by me and my drunken friends last night. Email me your mailing info so we can get it out to you.
Dawn
missestuna@gmail.com

Angie said...

Ed,
You could do a nice blog series on your stache progress! :)

Andrea,
I love fun ideas for charity fund raising!

Wag,
Again, it comes down to who communicates more openly. That's women. :p And yes, that was a lovely story! Some people just look creepy with a mustache.

Fred,
haha You think she's just keeping the women away from you?

Mrs. T,
EXCITING! I actually don't win stuff so I'm doing a big happy dance in the office right now. I'll email you when I get home and have access to my personal email! <3 it thanks!

Angie said...

Becca,
Me too! It's God awful!

Becca said...

PS Dearest darling Angie my lovey poo... when can I convince you to move over to disqus, so it's easier to leave comments on your gorgeous amazing fantastic blog... xoxo!

Angie said...

My darling sweet Becca,
I have no idea how. Do I need to move my blog again? I don't want to do that. I don't mind the Discus format though. Educate a girl!

Azra said...

Yeah, the stache frightens me. There's something so criminal about it LOL - my Dad had one for year. Not that he was a criminal. I can appreciate the cause though :)

Miss Sassy Pants said...

Baaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha The freestyler is my kind of maaannn

Paula said...

I can't recall ever getting up close and personal with a stach, it always seemed to me that it would cause face burn if you made out with a mustached guy.

RCB said...

Some guys are funny, wouldn't you say? I mean, they think a bit of hair on their lip makes them a man hahaha. Remember when you were in high school and there were these skinny boys with moustaches, hoping they looked, well, let's say impressively masculine?

Have a nice day, Angie!

P.S. That guy is one of the ugliest porn stars ever. So distracting...

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