Monday, November 21, 2011

Because I Am Mean Like That (Why I'm forcing my daughter to cook)
I've decided that I will prepare a giant Thanksgiving feast this year. Because I'm good like that. What? I can cook! Doubters. Frankly I'm a little angry that any of you might think I can't cook. Sure, nobody said anything but I know how it is. (Too irrational? Allow me to dial down the PMS)

Right-o! What I am about to say might come across as if I'm trying to force my child into a gender role that is unfair and unduly patriarchal. Anyone offended will just have to get over it. This is what's going down, Charlie Brown. I told my daughter that she needed to discuss with her boyfriend what three sides they would like prepared to go with what I will be serving (turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, dinner rolls, cranberries). Aside from that, I informed her, SHE would be cooking those three items they chose.
"It is time." I said to my daughter in my best Mufasa like voice. If I'd been able to convince someone to play the part of Rafiki I would have lifted her up to the kitchen with the appliances as an audience. She was not all that impressed, but I stand by the purpose of my dramatics. It's time for her to prove her worth in the kitchen. Her boyfriend does almost all of the cooking that involves more than boiling noodles. It stands to reason before he walks her down the aisle he might need to see that she can hold her own at the oven.

At the store on Saturday she broke away from the Mom Cart and decided to do a little feast worthy shopping of her own. Based on what she's picked up so far it appears she will be making a green bean casserole. I must say that I'm sort of impressed by her ability to pick a dish that requires little more effort than spinning the wheel on a can opener. Something tells me that if I asked her to provide a pie I would find a boxed up pie in the freezer Thursday morning.
Truth be told, I've only got myself to blame. I wasn't all that specific about what sort of goal she should be setting for this momentous occasion. Perhaps I should be relieved she didn't aim too terribly high. There's no point in having her show me up in the kitchen while she's still living in my house, right? On second thought... maybe that frozen pie wouldn't be so bad. Shit. There's a chance I have bigger issues than even I know.


chemgirljaime said...

my mums green bean casserole basically involves steamed green beans in butter with bacon and salt and pepper.

kudos to you for teaching your girl to cook... I think every kid.. girl or boy should know how to cook. Both my parents cooked in the house to share the responsibility.

Enjoy your feast!

DWei said...

I'm sure your daughter would do a much better job than me. :P

Fred said...

I can tell you are a good cook by looking into your eyes. You have the eyes of a great cook. Don't ask me how I know. It's like telling whether a baby chicken is male or female. You just know.

Tony Van Helsing said...

And so the student becomes the master.

Life Unordinary said...

what all do you have on your menu? be sure to post pictures of the spread!

Linda Medrano said...

My mother didn't really cook. I love to cook! My daughter doesn't really cook. Her husband does the cooking. Alex can boil water but not much else.

Azra said...

Hahaha - I'm guessing Mufasa would be impressed. I don't think you're being mean, it's important that she learns at some point. My mother had me in the kitchen at the age of 9. I've been cooking regularly since then and quite enjoy it. Although, it's not always cakes and roses when things don't come out the way you want them to:)

Kaloo5 said...

I was banned from the kitchen the day the missus found a piece of polony hanging off the curtain above the stove.
True story.

Angie said...

Have you ever had candied bacon? TO.DIE.FOR! My son loves to cook far more than my daughter. With him I say, "hey would you like..." and with her I say, "can I trouble you to..." :)

Need some lessons?! It's fun actually!

You can tell a baby chicken's sex by the eyes? Explain!LOL

She could probably do much better than me in so many areas if she would try. Kids are smart like that. :) They know what they need to do to get by.

I will try to remember to snap a pic of the table before anyone ruins it by eating! :)

My kids are the same. I love the creativity in cooking and the way it lets you explore other cultures you might never visit.

haha She's burned her share of brownies and dried out a few cakes... and burned the cookies. She will get the hang of it. I'll keep trying and hopefully she will at least grasp the basics before deciding she hates it!

hehe I can believe that. I would likely feel as your wife did.

Andrea said...

My mother can cook, but prefers not to. I just worked myself up into an overambitious baking frenzy this afternoon! It's not so much that I am a good cook, rather that I just follow directions well! Enjoy your holiday!

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