"Yes, we are blessed that she's so content."
You look over at the baby, sitting on the floor surrounded by toys, drool strand dangling and ready to add itself to the small puddle beneath her pudgy little legs. She isn't laughing or crying. She's just chewing on a teething ring and staring at her vast collection of cool and colorful belongings. That baby is truly content.
|image from http://getbetterhealth.com|
When did I stop wanting to be content? Why is it so great for babies, but when I could find contentment myself I push it away and opt instead to search for happiness? I look at many of those married for years and see contentment by the boat load. It's working for them, yet when it's offered to me I say things like, "I want to be with someone I am happy with and who is happy with me. I don't want to be with someone who is merely content to be with me. That would feel like I could be anyone. I want to be happy."
That's exactly what I said last night. I spent my late evening talking to someone who seemed set on convincing me that we should just "give it a try". He could really see himself being "content" with me. It was a striking comment for me because I'd had a conversation Friday about that very thing. In my head it seems to make sense, but in my heart it falls flat. It feels cold. There's not a single shred of desire for contentment.
Yesterday my daughter informed me that she's engaged. I won't mock this because I remember that feeling. It's a fairy tale waiting to happen. They plan to marry in a few years when they've completed school. Things are tough right now, but together they will make it through. They have the world at their feet. I didn't bring them down with statistics. I didn't say, "Well what will you do when you have a baby, and he realizes he has to sell his bike because you can't put a baby on the back of a Harley?" I didn't say anything like that at all, because they are happy.
She's eighteen and he's nineteen and they are in love. It's not that I haven't done my mandatory guiding. I have. They are both children of divorce. They know how it could workout... for everyone except them that is. And as much as I worry for their hearts, as much as I want to say WAIT, I hold back now and I let them enjoy being happy.
Right now she looks like this... and it's hard to argue with that.