All of that is neither here nor there, really. Today I just wanted to remind you that with the holidays comes travel for many of us. Thanksgiving is speeding toward us with the velocity of a frozen turkey dropping from a plane.
What popular sitcom from the 70's and 80's gives us the following quote, "As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." Right... feel free to throw your guess in the comment section for that!
Anyway, back to the holidays. For some of us the only time we get to spend time with our friends and families is during the holiday season. Unfortunately, this year the standard airline price hikes are being compounded by a little news from Delta. The Today Show announced this morning that Delta is reporting they will be increasing fares and reducing the number of flights to compensate for the increase in cost of fuel. A little pre-holiday cheer there for you! So, if you're planning that holiday get away, you might want to be watching the prices fairly closely.
Now before you go thinking I'm going to leave you with only this dreary bit of "well that's just f*cking great" news, I do have something pretty awesome to share! I know there has been a lot of outrage about the amount of hoops a person must jump through to simply get to your gate these days. I've heard all sorts of complaints.
"Do I look like a TERRORIST?!" to which I reply... "Well forcing me to listen to your bitching is torture so uh... "
"It's a violation of privacy! I don't want to be fondled! Those new machines are just as bad. They show EVERYTHING!" but I can only say, "Some of us like that pat down, and those new machines don't show anything they can't already see except things you may have hidden on your body. Why the hell are you hiding shit on your body? That sweater isn't hiding the truth, sugar."
Still... for those of you with an aversion to a little public groping, more modesty than my granny, and concerns about radiation targeting your baby making equipment or your breasticles there is relief and it's only a click away. The best part... the makers of this "holy shit! why didn't I think of that!?" product pretended to try to make it practical AND sexy/fun/a joke.
|Image courtesy of http://www.rockyflatsgear.com|
You're probably thinking I'm a sexist man-hater that doesn't care about protecting the male right to privacy or the need for radiation free sperm. You might be right (oh quit ya big babies). C'mon I bet a lot of men are sitting there smiling and thinking... radiation make sperm giant like godzira! Rawrrrrrrr! They thought of you too!
Don't ever say I don't love ya. I'm here to protect your privacy and your private parts! Fly safe, my lovelies.