Many of us have been there... the relationship is in trouble. We find ourselves thinking or maybe even saying, "How can you do this to me? I have invested myself completely in this God forsaken relationship for __ . I have given all of myself, my love, my heart, my sanity, my body to this, and I deserve better than what you're giving me. You me more than this."
As if managing a bank account or stock portfolio wasn't enough, we quantify every single piece of our lives. This might seem reasonable in the counting calories department, but shouldn't relationships be above that? True, relationships are about give and take: , & compromise. So isn't it fair then to quantify or give some investment merit to the time spent?,
So often we hear people talking about failed relationships with words more appropriate for a math equation than a matter of emotion and heart. Two hearts - .5 affection + wandering eyes / manipulation x deceit =
We expect our partner to give equally to the relationship, and when that doesn't happen for one reason or another, we immediately feel it like a slap to our . Out come the banker's words... I've invested. He/She me. He/She should be forever in my . We expect some ROI. Where is the for me? After all I've done for you is this the thanks I get? I give and give and give and for what?
Oh, it's not just what we expect to get. It's also what we pay back. It seems when we don't feel we got our expected ROI, we want to make sure the other person GETS theirs. You hurt me, that was your INVESTMENT, well let me tell you what your will get you, my bitter and angry .
When you show more losses than gains, you can begin to feel your market value has dropped. With each unfavorable investment, depreciation of our emotional assets begins to really stick out on the old spreadsheet. It's enough sometimes to keep you from ever wanting to invest again! You might as well stash your love away under your mattress (or in your night stand). right? These are the things that keep us from moving on, or at the very least moving forward.
I've been there. I have past relationships I still feel owe me a debt of some sort. I've doled out my share of "remember when you" statements like reminder notices from the bank: