Overheard at the pre-party:
Matron of Honor- She said it's not her car. (referring to a conversation about loud mufflers)
Wedding Attendant- Well, she's a liar. She's probably not even GAY!
Call to the honeymoon suite where we dressed for the event:
Me- So here's what's left in the room: Your black quilted bag, your make up bag, your jewelry box, your VS bag, and a banana. Do you want me to leave the matrimonial banana in case you two wanna so something kinky freaky tonight?
Bride- What?! No. Maybe.
Words from the happy couple's bedroom:
Me- What the hell happened in here? (clothes explosion)
My niece- Smells like sex doesn't it?!
Me- Uh, that's not what I meant.
Out of the mouths of babes:
Bride- (Describing the size of a large glass vase being used for the ceremony) Ours is like this big around and this tall. (Gesturing with oddly sexual hand movements)
My niece- You wish, Mom.
I'm not in junior high, but I can play that age if...:
Handsome friend of the groom- You should come meet some of my friends. We're going to a concert after the dance is done. Come with us.
Me- Lucky! That sound like fun, but I rode here with my parents. It's a bit like high school. If I'm not in that car in 5 minutes they are going to be pissed!
This awkward moment brought to you by re-dating your ex:
Me- Are you always this talkative or is this something new? (to grooms friend)
Him- All new. (uncomfortable look)
Me- This must be your son?
Him- Yeah and that's my daughter. (nervous smile)
Blonde woman from the crowd- And I'm his ex wife and the mother of his children.
Me- Nice to meet you! (awkward)
My sister has terrific friends. They were all very warm and welcoming. A big thank you to all of you for being such gracious hosts to our family during the busy time.