And that's exactly where I am going. Right now you're probably thinking, "Who the **** cares!?" Well I'll tell ya who... my sister, that's who. You see, she's getting married on the 24th and I am going to be there. She's skeptical about whether or not I'm actually going to show up, and I know this because she keeps asking what time my flight gets in. Rest assured sister girl I'll be there! I have a few things to do before I go though... like you know, buy the ticket.
I've also planned tonight's after work activities to prepare me for the nuptials. The agenda requires me to stand in the closet and stare at my two dress options to determine which will require the least amount of Spanx. During this time I will try on at least 6 pairs of black heels, text my sister to ask if it's okay if I just wear jeans, try on 5 pair of jeans and realize I don't have a single decent blouse to go with them, text her back and tell her to forget it I will just wear black, text again and ask if it's okay if I wear black because I do have the one other dress, then locate nearest retailer that sells "suck it in" wear. Busy night!
I don't own a single piece of Spanx that will work with either dress. I've always been afraid of wearing those full coverage pieces because really, all that stuff you're squishing has to go somewhere, right? If you see any pictures of me at this wedding and I've got a massively bulging knees and my neck has grown 6 inches in diameter just know that from the shoulders to the thighs I looked streamlined. :)
Tomorrow I plan to begin last minute online shopping for a date. I am not even being sneaky here and trying to pass someone off as a boyfriend. I'm willing to bet that even my nieces and nephews will have a date for their mother's wedding. I've pretty much decided if I go to one more family event as a single, there will be little hope of convincing my family that I'm into guys. At the end of the evening when everyone is inebriated and dancing with their partner... I'd rather not be "that sister". I know my sister and despite her good intentions, and even though it's her wedding, if I don't have a date she will try to fix me up with someone at the party and I really don't want that. You know that website, www.itsjustlunch.com? There needs to be a site called www.itsjustawedding.com. There will be adult beverages, a dance, food, etc. I think this is selling itself! What guy turns down buffet, beer, and boobs? If you're hot, single, can dance, between 32 and 42, in the Dayton-Urbana area, and don't mind that you're not going to get any sex please let me know. :-p
There's also this little thing called a gift that I need to pick up. Since both my sister and her betrothed are coming into this marriage with 3 kids each... I suppose we can rule out buying them a baby on the black market. I thought perhaps custom his and hers ear plugs for those days/nights/weeks when they want to block out the sounds of kids. Perhaps a year's supply of Xanex from one of those fancy Canadian online places would do the trick. I've never been to their home and I don't want to give a gift card. Add to that, I'm not crafty in the least, really. Well not in any way that would make a cool gift like glass etching or a big freakin doily. Everyone loves a big freakin doily. Alas, a doily I cannot make.
What's your very best wedding experience? Bonus points for someone who gives me a kick ass and yet affordable wedding present idea. :D