Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Live Nude Girls

It's almost 9 AM and I'm at work. I want to get this excuse out there right away so there is no doubt in your minds why my skills are seriously lacking. If I were focused and awake things would be different.

Our house... in the middle of the farm. Our house. 
This is the main level of the house where I grew up. It's not to scale. I forgot to put an opening from the kitchen to the living room. It is what is is. Our house was a home without most of its doors. The reason for this was air circulation, not some Midwest plot to create an atmosphere of openness. We don't want people to be all open. Keep your business to yourself! If we wanna know what's going on in your life we'll make it up and tell the neighbors.

You will notice I gave my parents room the title "Magic Kingdom". When we first moved into this house, there were folding doors separating the master bedroom from the living room. They were held back by silky tasseled cording. There was also a huge water bed. Everyone knows what that meant in the early 80's, right? Stellar bachelor pad, Pops! I'd have to guess that's where the magic happened.

The rest is pretty much the standard you would find in a typical 1.5 story home. Well, all except where the naked girls are at the bottom of that set of stairs. My mom is a wonderful woman who cared about the state of her children when they left the house. For that very reason, she was always doing laundry. I mean that. ALWAYS. Either the washer, the dryer, or the clothes line was in use no matter when I came home. She was not a fool though. She knew we needed to take some responsibility for our own belongings. Kids need that in order to become responsible adults. It was for that reason that she placed our neatly folded laundry on the stairs leading up to our bedrooms.

When your school bus arrives to pick you up before 7 AM, you really have to make good time when getting ready. You wake and run downstairs to have a bowl of cereal and juice. Immediately after that you brush your teeth, wash your face, wet your hair down, and head for the stairs. At this point, you're so late that you aren't even going up the steps. That is when I first became an exhibitionist. Standing at the bottom of the steps, ripping off pajamas like a crazed person, and bending to dig through (now) randomly scattered clothing, naked ass to the window facing the road.

It's important to note that the only people ever at the bottom of those steps were my sister and I. The rest of the house was attending to their business elsewhere. We didn't realize we might be showing our goods to the passing farmers. To be honest there were only 2-3 people who drove on our road... and we wouldn't have WILLINGLY showed those men anything. But this became habit long before we came to that realization and it's carried over to this part of my life.

I am saying this as an apology to anyone who may have been in the basement of my home this morning. Listen closely because I'm only going to say this once. I own this place right? It's my house. At the same time I am considerate enough of my tenant to make sure that I am not running around all "cheeks out" and the like. This morning when I came downstairs to gather my laundry I stopped on the main floor. I checked the vehicles in the front of the house to make sure that I was indeed alone. In my defense, I was wearing a shirt and underwear. Consider yourself lucky.

It was quiet for the love of God. It was 7 AM. Whoever you are... if you're silent and sleeping in my dark basement and I am not aware you're there, you might see me in my underwear. I don't yell down the steps, "HEY IS THERE ANYONE HERE???" I wouldn't want to wake anyone that may be there without my knowledge. Right now would be a good time to say, "Thank you, Angie" ya know....

1. For having a shirt on
and
2. For the underwear being new

10 comments:

Azra said...

Haha Angie, living in a house full of women means we're always running around half nekkid... and it's become such a habit that it doesn't occur to us that there may be someone at the window or door that can see us. And whenever Mother scolds us, I say "yeah yeah whatever, its my house y'know"... I should be more careful though ;P

Angie said...

Azra,
haha! I know exactly how that goes. I am sure the few men in my family and extended family have all worried a time or two about the types of daughters they were raising. It was not uncommon growing up to be dressing and primping in the bathroom while another sister or cousin was bathing. At times when I was staying with my cousins it felt, for all the world, like the biggest sorority house/girls locker room ever. Half naked girls, hairspray, clothes, makeup as far as the eye could see. No one cared.

Ed Adams said...

No complaints here.

The view was quite nice.

Gorilla Bananas said...

It's OK for a woman to be seen naked if she has a naked personality. Which I suspect you do.

Jen said...

Love the description of The Magic Kingdom's decor. Did Mr. Roper ever stop by to tell your folks to quit their crazy shenanigans?

Left Coast Guy said...

Angie,

Oh.My.Goodness. Isn’t it interesting how we become comfortable with our constant surroundings. we would probably adjust our behavior if we thought about it. How many people have you seen in their car singing like a rock star or digging in their nose like it was their last chance? The outside world does not exist when we are in our “reality bubble.” :-)

Heather said...

I often do the yell out my bedroom door, "Who's home??" before running out the door to grab something from downstairs while getting ready for work. If my kids are home, I don't really care so much but I doubt my husbands kid's want to see me running around in my chonies. What I often forget it that there is a window next to our front door and Im probably showing the entire neighborhood headed to work my business :/

Angie said...

Heather,
Okay that I have done... gone prancing with the curtains open!

Linda Medrano said...

I love that you are very considerate about offending the sensibilities of prowlers and the like. Good girl!

Angie said...

Linda,
I'm going to show up and your house one day and we can offend your neighbors together! By the way I just got over to your post with Zoe! She's BEAUTIFUL!!!

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