Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I'm Sorry: I Beat PMS

I'm about to toss some terms out that are pretty elementary to anyone who's created a website, written a blog, or spent time around a computer nerd. I don't want any of the "normal people" (non-computer world people: you know who you are) to run away scared so I will get it all out there in less than a paragraph. I promise there's something non-techie to follow.

Last week when I moved the blog to my personal domain, I also had a chance to play with the new blogger interface. I learned something completely non-technical when I switched over. I have a LOT of blog drafts from when I first began blogging that I never published.

From what I can gather by looking at the dates and the contents of the posts, I was REALLY angry and apparently... pretty damn mean. I read through one post in particular and I started out thinking to myself, "Go me! I am vicious! I should have sent that in a letter! Asshole!" and as the post goes on I began to think, "Wow, Angie. That wasn't very nice. Oooh I need to check the calendar for that day because this seems more like PMS than real anger. Oh... OH! I don't really think that! Ouch, that would have hurt."

So in order to atone for these cruel thoughts I have decided to apologize here. There's a chance that you might think some of these apply to you. I assure you, they do not (maybe).

1. I'm sorry I said you were a piss poor excuse for a human being. I meant to say that you would be better suited to a world filled with robots and unfeeling cold electronics. 

2. I don't really want you to shove anything up your a$$. I don't think there's room for anything else up there. It's got to be full with your head being up there all the time. Forgive me for suggesting it. 

3. There probably IS a woman out there who will be stupid enough to stay with you. I didn't mean to dash your hopes. We all need something to keep us believing in love. Sure, she might have to be blind, deaf, mute, immobile, and unconscious... but she's out there. 
Yeah, I couldn't' picture her either. 

4. When I said you should "go **** yourself", I didn't mean it. I've been on the receiving end of your efforts in that department, and there are certainly better things you could do with your time. Like growing a conscience. 

That concludes the "I'm Sorry" portion of today's post. Hmmm apparently it wasn't PMS related.

So for those of you keeping track... Angie 1 - PMS 0


Ed Adams said...


You're Classy even when being a bitch.

Say "Fuck You" like you mean it, and don't apologize or blame PMS.

Anonymous said...

I've got a few "drafts" in blogger, but I've got a whole LOT of them in my email that I re-read from time to time and wonder how much shit they would start if I clicked "send."

Congrats on beating PMS, and thanks for the Happy Birthday! :)

Fred Miller said...

I'd go fuck myself any time you say.

Paula said...

I love #3 and the fact that you had a bunch of unpublished angry drafts, I have a few of those myself!

Leauxra said...

I love it. Good job on the "apologies".

I once accidentally sent a chat to a coworker calling him a dumbass, and ended up apologizing so much that I will never forgive the guy even though I am sure he has forgotten by now. It was such an effort of will to keep from saying something snarky that I pulled a muscle in my brain.

What I am saying is that I don't write anything mean on the internet anymore unless it's directed at myself, because I am just dumb enough to accidentally hit "publish" instead of "delete" or "save" and then I would be the asshole instead of him.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Hah! There are probably men who would pay good money to be the object of your sarcastic contempt. Ever thought of becoming a dominatrix?

Left Coast Guy said...

Oh, my god those are so awesome! You go Angie! Reformed or not you rock ;-)


KG said...

I like the bitchy you. Hilarious comments.

Bexstar said...

I fricking LOVE your hate. Nothing pleases me more than a dick being told he's a BIG dick. And hey it's a shit load better than being arrested for murder. Don't ever stop x

Linda Medrano said...

You are such a clean dirty girl! I love that about you!

Angie said...

You called me "classy"! That's a first I think!

I have about as many letter drafts as I do post drafts I need to delete before I get some wild angry hair and send them! I hope you had a wonderful bday!

I would NEVER tell you to do that! I'm a lady and all. ;)

If nothing else they make for interesting diaries of our daily thoughts and plans to systematically destroy those who piss us off, right?

I have done that!!! Nothing says office drama like, "Bob is such a douche!" ... "oh, hi Bob..."

Have I told you what I do for a living REALLY? It's quite the other way around unfortunately. :)

I am not quite yet all the way reformed. :p

Why thank you M'dear! haha

I've been taking lessons! I am so glad it's showing! LOL

Oh if only you could see inside my head. Hmmm better yet... let's go with your theory! :D

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