Awhile back I wrote a post about filling the hole with things you want. I started out wanting to write about something else, but there are times when you just don't feel like being serious or looking inside yourself to see where the darkness is coming from. If you were to lift the rugs in my house you would find dust, hair (I shed like a sheep dog), carpet freshener, and possibly Jimmy Hoffa. Just kidding... but seriously there is a lump under one of the carpets that I'm afraid to explore. According to one search engine my bio comes up showing me as a mother of 3 kids and married. Somewhere along the line I misplaced a husband and a kid so it could be that.
Regardless, those rugs are a metaphor for my life. Sweep it under the rug and I'll deal with it later. It's later. I have a confession to make. I'm a hoarder. I hoard bad memories. I hoard negative self-image. I hoard past hurt. The outside of me looks like a regular normal person, but once you step over the threshold of my personality you're going to find a dead cat or two, some old dentures I found next to the dumpster that might come in handy one day, 40 boxes of clothes I won't ever wear again, wilted lettuce I bought because one day 6 weeks ago it was on sale for $.29/head, and more than that... you will find me. You really would have to go pretty deep because I've buried myself way back there down the longest hallway at the back of my mind.
Yesterday while over at Oh Noa, I took a little time to watch the videos she posted from Blogher. First off, for those of you unfamiliar with the whole blogosphere... when I say I was "over there" it's the equivalent of going to visit someones house. Don't mock me. It's how it is. So, I was over there watching the videos and while all of them were touching, funny, and all the good things I've come to expect from blogs, one in particular made me cry. Miss Britt's video (and the text version at her site) goes a step further in confirming what we all tell our best friends when they say, "What's wrong with me?" and we give a resounding... "There's nothing wrong with you!" The trick is learning to believe that about yourself. Maybe it's the Iowa connection. Maybe it's the blogger thing. I don't know, but I think I am going to visit her place more often.
So back to what I was getting at... it was timely. The post I diverted to material possession cravings above was supposed to be this... Filling The Hole. This article was what I meant to talk about. The content of this link is what had been eating at me while I was busy eating everything else. It's my first article that went somewhere other than here or an inbox. To be honest I feel a little light headed right now. So take a look and check out the other articles. Eden Cafe has so much to offer.