Baked beans? Yep.
On the roast? Of course.
Baby potatoes and creamed peas? Pretty sure.
Chili? Actually every single soup created? Damn straight.
"Just pick them out!" seemed to be the most commonly used sentence in the kitchen. I would like to believe that onions are the reason I was so fat. I had to eat cakes and cookies to get the nutrients I needed to feed my brain development because of my aversion to everything else. (Kidding Mom- You should all know that my mother is an incredible cook and sometimes I go home for the weekend just so she will feed me) It's important to note that onion will taint an entire meal. Once you cook with an onion, the flavor creeps over the side of pots and pans and gets into every single item on your plate.
So there I would sit, fork in hand, and pick and pick and pick until there was a small mountain of minced/chopped/slivered/sliced onion on the side of my plate. From time to time my keen eye would miss a minuscule hidden bit and I would bite into it. There was rarely a meal when I didn't gag at the table. It's surprising really that my family didn't involuntarily vomit simply from watching me trying to eat. Sometimes I would wear my "about to bawl" face through the entire meal.
Onion torture was inevitable. We come from an area of small rural communities. There weren't fast food restaurants anywhere nearby. On the rare occasion, my parents would go to "The City" (Omaha) and because they loved us and knew that our rural upbringing caused us to be deprived of cool things like Happy Meals, they would come home from a day trip to the land of tall buildings with 2 big bags full of McDonald's hamburgers and cheeseburgers. If we had other kids to taunt on the farm we would totally have been singing the Eddie Murphy 'we got McDonaldsssssssssssssssss" song.
For those of you unfamiliar with McDonald's burgers... unless you specifically request things to be served without onions... those dehydrated bastards plastered to the bun. There are not enough paper towels or napkins in the entire world to wipe the onion out of a burger. When you're feeding 6 kids, you do NOT stop mid-order at the drive thru and say... "Oh and can we get a couple of them without onions and mark the wrappers?" You simply put in the order as quickly as you can and go back to enjoying that blessed day you spent away from crying, fighting, dirty, needy kids. I don't blame them.... anymore. :)
Between my aversion to onion, one sister not eating green beans, and another who refused to touch tomatoes... it's a wonder my mother didn't just let us starve. But she's sweet that way, ya know?
I went to the store today after work and walked right up to the onions in the produce section and bought my very first ever onion. It's called a Red Onion... maybe you've heard of them?
|It's an onion. Don't worry it won't bite...much. Right?|