Thursday, August 4, 2011

New and Improved - Now With Less Responsibility


Dear Scorpio

Try not to be so serious and intense today, Scorpio. Walk with a lighter step and don't feel like you always need to be in control of every single thing you contact. Take on an attitude of going with the flow and you will be right in the place you need to be. Extreme actions will lead to extreme consequences. There's no need for that sort of behavior on a day like this (Finger Point and Scowling Implied).

Sincerely, 
Your Horoscope

Oh, Horoscope. If only you knew. I gave up trying to be in control of things awhile back. You know what I think? I think, lucky me. Truthfully, things weren't going so well when I was in control. I hate to admit it so publicly, but I am not a very good manager of myself. All projects take time, but when I was the boss of me I was constantly breathing down my neck and berating myself for not meeting expectations. It looked sort of funny too, so I hope that helps some of you understand why I was always looking like I was staring at my own boobs. <Hey Me... My eyes are up here!>

One day I had finally had enough and I turned to myself and said, "I am out of here. Screw me.. or you! You're a bitch to yourself, you haven't made anything better like you said you would and ya know what? We have needed to bring on some staff for awhile, a consultant maybe, and you expect you to do it all." and then I quit. I've never been so happy to be rid of a job in my life. 

Sorry if that sounded like a Gollum-Smeagol moment, but I needed to put myself in my place. 

The new "go with the flow" person that you want me to be, Dear Horoscope, is already here. I still go to my day job, but my full time job of beating myself up has been replaced by doing whatever I want (whatever I can afford) whenever I want (after work but before bed). I am feeling a bit like a teenager who just got a part time job and an extended curfew. I am going to try some foot stomping and eye rolling on the kids later today to see if I still have what it takes to be a bit less responsible and all "don't tell me what to do"

Already things are different... 

1. I can sleep without the TV on. Okay sort of. I still play a Netflix documentary (always History) as I doze off. That's a throw back from elementary school. There is something soothing about a deep voice lecturing you to sleep. <Watch the film blink 4-3-2-1> It's like fucking hypnosis.


2. I craved nachos yesterday so I had them and didn't apologize to anyone about it. They sucked. Seriously, they sucked balls. I didn't even care, and I washed them down with a beer. I don't even like beer, but I felt like a rebel. 


3. I've been less of a bitch. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR you say, but YA HUH! 
Seems like the horoscope is always bringing shit to the table a little too late. 


9 comments:

Crystal said...

always lovely to meet another Scorpio who tries ever so hard to break the stereotype. You seem to be doing much better at it than I am!!! Can totally see the Fred crush now!!

Gorilla Bananas said...

You seem to be getting your shit together. Maybe you need to try nachos with a different coating.

Angie said...

Crystal,
Oh I'm not very good at it at all! Patience is the hardest thing to work on and I am very impatient.

GB,
Chicken instead of beef?

Fred Miller said...

Another thing I did was go back to thinking like a teenager. I pretended I was broke and couldn't afford ice cream. Lost twenty pounds. Changing your whole way of thinking is like buying an entire new wardrobe. Congratulations, Angie.

Linda Medrano said...

Giving over "control" is really a good thing. We can't control it all and it's fruitless to even try. Things turn out one way and directions and goals change. Nachos are nasty most of the time, unless you make them yourself. And try a margarita rather than the beer.

tazerwarriorprincess said...

Yum, nachos...oh where was I.... I wish I could quit my brain sometimes, Motherfucker is ruining my life. I'll take a page out of your book and start acting like a teenager, maybe that will help.

Angie said...

Fred,
When the kids aren't home I eat fake egg omelettes and dry toast. Lazy and cheap. All good!

Linda,
Home made nachos are a delight... and my mom gave me a recipe for Poor Man's Margaritas I might try one of these weeks!

TWP,
I tried the eye rolling thing last night and the kids just laughed. Might be because I made kick ass home made strawberry short cakes last night and they were on a sugar high?

Left Coast Guy said...

Wait…what? Oh, hell no! I want my bitch back! Hey, if I want Glenda the Good Witch of the North I’ll find some bleeding heart blog for that. I need cutting edge, snarky, opinionated, in my face, bitch on my back. Ok. Try again, Angie! ;-)

Angie said...

LCG,
I think you're quickly bordering on a fetish. :p

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