Tuesday, August 9, 2011

The more you know... Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater

Apparently there are ways to tell if your man is cheating on you. In my experience it was pretty cut and dried. 

  •         If you find your man on a date with another woman... he's cheating on you.

  •        If your man goes out for a night on the town while you're out of town and he hires two babysitters, one for your kids and one for another woman's kids... he's cheating on you. 

  •        If a woman says she slept naked with your husband, but goes out of her way to assure you that they didn't have sex... (WTF?! Are you SERIOUS?) Yeah, he's cheating on you.



According to an article I found last night on MSN, there are other more subtle hints I was missing. Here were my favorites:

Clue No. 1 Look for changes in your partner's grooming habits… He may also suddenly start doing his own laundry or begin showering more frequently than normal.

That should have tipped me off right there. I just thought my constant nagging was finally paying off! WRONG

Clue No. 3 Keep your eyes open for random hair bands or bobby pins lying around. It's all too easy for another woman to accidentally leave hair accessories after a shower. Know what's yours and what's not.

I knew what was mine. Apparently he didn’t. The funniest part was when his girlfriend basically confessed their affair when she was drunk and then complimented me on my sweater and asked to borrow it sometime. My response? “Hell you’re already borrowing my husband!”



Clue No. 4 He may… start to lose interest in taking vacations with you, and stop talking about long-term relationship plans.

We discussed this in the office. Even in a long term relationship you just want to vacation alone. Partners can get pretty annoying and I think Chicago said it best… “Everybody needs a little time away, I heard her say… from each other. Even lovers need a holiday …”


Clue No. 8 Be aware if he suddenly ups his dose of Viagra or starts taking it without a clear reason.

Also be aware if he’s got a prescription for Viagra and you’re not getting laid.



Clue No. 9… Evidence of his philandering online isn't hard to find. Go on to popular dating sites (AdultFinder.com, Match.com, Passion.com etc.) and do a search of his name to see if it pops up

Yeah, this is all good and fine until he goes to the Internet and finds your search in the history and wants to know what the hell you’re doing on Friend Finder or Match.com.

Clue No. 10 Note changes in his car, like if the radio is set to stations neither of you normally listen to.

This one cracked me up until I confirmed it with a guy I know. Apparently no, he didn’t all the sudden start liking country music. Well hell. That one got past me. I mean people change right? He all the sudden started liking skanks. Country music wasn’t far behind. I feel so stupid! 



I am in no way saying that women don't cheat. I'm actually going to look for an article to support this and give some tips for men to tell if their woman is steppin' out or some guy is "creepin round the back stairs" (a lil Gordon Lightfoot for ya kids...) Stay tuned! 

14 comments:

Left Coast Guy said...

Angie,
This comes under grooming: for guys who wear cologne, you can also sometimes see two different bottles on the counter or the complete cessation of use of the old cologne. You may like his cologne but she may not like it. In and of itself it’s not telling; however, guys, being creatures of habit, its one more possibility to consider.

Dean
Http://leftcoastguy.com

Heather said...

Clue No. 11 - When a mysterious kid shows up on his health insurance and then he suddenly doesn't want to you to see his pay stubs (child support coming out) - that's pretty much a done deal that you've got a cheater, too.

And don't get me started on women...we can be some devious creatures too!

Left Coast Guy said...

Angie,

Playing peekaboo with the boss(s) today. Took a long time to finish the post. Its up now if you want to visit. Hey, and no more Haight comment. I'm sad. I'm crying. It hurts. ;-)

Dean
http://leftcoastguy.com

Linda Medrano said...

When your sig other starts buying "home of the whopper" jockey shorts, he's cheating on you. When he all at once starts going fishing at 4 AM every weekend and comes home smelling of Chanel No. 5, he's cheating on you. When he mumbles "Lorraine" in his sleep and your name is Angie, he's cheating on you. Oh girl, I could go on and on!

Azra said...

Haha. Love that bill-board. It's so something I'd do. I don't get it, why cheat? Why not rather day, "this is working for me and I'll go my own way". I guess sometimes things are more complicated than they seem...still doesn't excuse any of it though.

Left Coast Guy said...

Azra:

One word: Cowardice. And sometimes its just not about love. Its selfishness. When you love, you don't intentionally hurt. So, when you cheat, I can only conclude the man loves neither woman. If he will do it to one he will do it to the other. Ok, I'll get off my box...sorry. :-)

Dean
http://leftcoastguy.com

Gorilla Bananas said...

You see, Gandhi did actually sleep with naked girls without cheating on his wife. He did it when he was a bramacharya who wanted to test his powers of restraint. What do you think of naked cuddling without have sex?

Tara said...

This doesn't make me very excited to be in a relationship someday...Haha.

Angie said...

LCG,
Point taken and cataloged for future reference!

Heather,
That right there is a dead give away. You'd think they had the decency to pick up another policy. Egads!

Linda,
When I get moved we really need to have that wine night with the diet pills and smokes. It seems like we've trekked a similar path!

Azra,
I loved the billboard! I chose instead to call from an undisclosed # with a crackly message from the local health clinic asking him to report for testing regarding venereal disease.

GB,
I think Ghandhi just wanted to sleep with naked women. Maybe I am not giving him enough credit, but it sounds a lot like, "I would NEVER have sex with another woman! Let me sleep naked with a bunch of naked woman and I'll prove it to you!"

Tara,
I'm told this is not the norm. Check back later. LOL

Leauxra said...

Yeah, cheaters suck. If I am tempted to cheat, I dump him, and I tell him to do the same. It may be the difference between a civil breakup and having your belongings dumped in the river.

Ed Adams said...

I could give juicy details about signs your spouse might be cheating, but I wouldn't want to incriminate myself.

Not saying I've ever cheated.

Angie said...

Leauxra,
So true! Or burned in a scorned lovers ceremonial purge! :)

Ed,
Have at it. I think we're all adults. Maybe... Ok all kids out of the blog!

RCB said...

Maybe human beings were never meant to be faithful. Maybe we just want to feel special and be the only one to have a sense of purpose. Just saying...

http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/cheating-and-infidelity/stats-about-infidelity.html

Angie said...

RCB,
You could be right, but then maybe if a person feels so strongly about it they shouldn't involve themselves in a committed relationship? I'll check the link when I get home! :) Thx... oh yeah I also need to add the emoticon options don't I?!

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