Sunday, August 28, 2011

I'm Regressing and You Cannot Stop Me

Maybe it's just me, but it seems like summer is going to be over way too soon. As parents deliver their students back to the college dorms, get little Joey, Brock, Sofia, and Tamara (sorry, I don't know what people name their kids these days) off to school, and say a little prayer of thanks for the reduction in daycare expenses or merely a little bit of blessed quiet, I find myself wondering what I'll be doing in a couple of months when Parent/Teacher conferences roll around.

The last P/T C's of the year for 2010/11 found me sitting at the table, greeting teachers for the last time in my kid's school careers. Nothing looks less stable than a work weary mom smiling at people with her eyes all watered up. But that too has passed and he is attending high school in another state with the other half of the family. He's doing very well and adapting like a champ and we're adapting here too. It's quiet. There is far less need to go to the grocery store. I don't have to ask crazy questions like, "Are those socks clean?" Sometimes I text him those random comments in the middle of his school day. Just so he doesn't forget how much of a nag I am.

I still have the oldest at home to torture. It's just not the same though. She has gotten to the point where very little phases her. I too have gotten to the point where very little she says or does phases me. As a matter of fact, tonight she emailed me FROM.HER.ROOM. to tell me that she would like to start paying me rent as of the first. I didn't need to be told what that meant. It means that she was accepted to college, enrolled in classes, and though she didn't get financial aid (still trying to figure that part out) I offered to pay for the semester.... but she's decided to not go this semester.

Her reasoning was that she wants to wait until we get moved and start fresh there without having to pay the outrageous tuition and fees here. I think it's bullshit. I think it's the wrong decision. I think she should take the money I'm offering her and become the super star whatever she finally decides to be. But for the first time in a long time... I let her make a choice and I didn't nag. I didn't scream. I didn't cry. I didn't brow beat her. I simply said, "I cannot make you go. I don't agree, but it's your decision. The rent is due on the first."

So now I'm regressing and you cannot stop me. I am considering becoming a stay at home mom again. You're probably thinking... strange time to become one of those isn't it? No. It is exactly the right time. I stayed home with the kids most of their early years before they started school. I've been back to work for awhile now and to be honest, I have missed a lot on my old soaps. Is Marlena still possessed by the devil? Has Stefano returned from the dead again? What about Bo and Hope? What's going on with that hot stud and Miss Fancy Face?

PLUS I look way cuter in soccer mom outfits than I did when my kids were little. I could totally rock a minivan lifestyle right about now. Every once in awhile I am out of work early enough to see how the other half lives. There are tons of mom's at the coffee shops and the mall during the day! I think this is totally unacceptable... unless I can be a part of it that is.

I am now taking applications for someone to keep me in the lifestyle to which I would like to become accustomed. Tomorrow is Monday, so if we can get this squared away before 6:30 AM (CDT) 8/29/11, that would be AWESOME. I would like to make a fresh start of the week by spoiling myself.


14 comments:

hmr59 said...

Sounds like a good deal! Hmmmmm, that gives me an idea - any ladies out there need a househusband?

Gorilla Bananas said...

It sounds like you're mellowing. It could be the perfect time to attract Mr Sugar Daddy who'll set you up for life. You'll have to trains the kids not to snarl at him, though.

Azra said...

I was rolling on the floor laughing when you mentioned Marlena and her stint as the Devil... the good ol days *sigh*

Our soaps come on much later in the day. Days of our Lives is currently on from 04:30pm to 05:30pm Monday's to Fridays. The Bold and the Beautiful follows.
I don't much soaps anymore though, guess I just haven't had the time ;P

Tony Van Helsing said...

It's Monday now so get spoiling.

Angie said...

hmr59,
If I find someone willing to support my plans for sofa domination I will ask if he's got a sister.

GB,
My kids aren't snarlers so I have that going for me. They also don't need me to cook for them anymore. I have mellowed! Maybe I'll join the circus. Would you be my reference?

Azra,
One thing I learned when I was in high school is that you can go to school for 9 months in a row and come back and practically pick up where you left off with a soap opera. I used to watch Y&R and Victor and Nicki's son Nicholas aged 10 years in 3 months, but otherwise the role seemed to be pretty much the same. :)

Angie said...

Tony,
No one applied for the job of "sole provider" before I had to leave for the office. It looks like I'll have to keep toiling away and typing until I succumb to carpel tunnel.

Leauxra said...

How do people get that gig? I mean seriously.

Angie said...

Leauxra,
I have no idea, but I'm gonna keep working on figuring it out. I suppose I'll probably find the answer when I am old enough to receive Social Security only to find out Social Security doesn't exist anymore. LOL

♥●• Izdiher·•●♥ said...

It is always pleasure to read your post .

Cheers.

Heather said...

Love it. I have severe SAHM envy most days, and it gets worse when I get home early and have to actually witness the other half picking up Johnnie from the bus stop. Me, I sit at work and pray that my older kids don't forget about the one getting off the bus. (Just made that reminder call about 5 mins ago). Anyway, good plan. I'm so on board if you figure out the logistics.

Azra said...

We're 9 months behind on the Y&R. At the moment Nicolas and Phyllis are getting divorced... I know this because I can't help overhear the blaring TV while I'm in the kitchen cooking :)

Angie said...

Heather,
I have learned to never ask how I can make money while staying at home. I get spammed every single time. If I find a way to be a SAHM I will totally let you know. I have a feeling it might be dirty though. LOL

Azra,
Well that's what he gets for marrying a woman named Phyllis. Seriously? They are at LEAST 12 years younger than I am and her name is Phyllis? Why didn't they name her Gertrude or Edna?

Heather said...

Is it bad that a girlfriend and I actually considering working for a 976 number. Yea, pretty bad I guess. My voice isn't sultry enough anyway. Dammit.

Angie said...

Heather,
Hell no! I considered it myself once... "Adult Phone Entertainer". LOL

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