Me: Anyway, what are you doing today?
Him: Fine I guess. You have no sense of humor. Figures.
Me: I have a sense of humor I just don't find that funny.
Him: You don't find anything funny.
Me: It's like when I told you to stop with the jizz jokes. Waitresses only laugh so you will tip them.
Him: Other people find them funny.
Me: Okay truck drivers, 15 year old boys, and young girls who laugh because they are uncomfortable. There's your audience.
Him: You don't understand my humor.
Me: No shit.
Him: So you can say shit, but I can't say jizz?
Before you read any further, let me make something clear. If you are a female and you like to hear the word jizz... Kudos to you. I don't care. More power to ya. But this is my blog. Mine mine mine mine.
A few of my readers can attest to this conversation. While on break that day, I asked a few of the girls what they thought of the word "jizz". The reaction was priceless. Four of the 5 ladies instantly made a face that clearly said, "Why in the hell would you use that word? Ewww! What are you? 15?" The youngest of the group, then 22, blushed a little then giggled and said, "haha Jizz". I said, "My point exactly." I don't mind reading it. I don't mind typing it. Hearing it just makes me put on my "WTF did you say that for?" face.
Of course my guy friend didn't believe me when I told him that strippers pretend to like you for money or that waitresses laugh at stupid jokes for tips so why would he believe that most women don't think jokes about body fluids are funny. In his mind he's the Daniel Tosh of the 80's.
I would like to clarify something...most women I know don't mind having conversations about bedroom topics if it's with people they are comfortable with or the entire situation lends itself to the topic(like at a Passion Party for instance). They would probably tell you that they just don't see humor in what is supposed to be a "joke" that ends with something like, 'So I splooged in her eye'.
HAHAHAHA... What? Yeah, I obviously don't get it. Ya know why? Because I don't have a penis. Because I've never splooged/jizzed/etc on anyone's face, tits, or hair. Perhaps this is where "knowing your audience" would come in handy. Like when you make a joke to your parish priest about the Irish priest and a bottle of whiskey, but you don't make a joke about sleeping with your neighbors wife. It's kind of like that. Okay for confession and private discussion... but you should leave it out of the day to day dinner table jokes.
Maybe I don't have a sense of humor? Maybe it's just another one of those things about people who have penises that I don't understand? Thoughts?