Saturday, July 2, 2011

When I'm Famous

In my quest to discover who I am it's become painfully obvious that I am in the wrong location (in the back yard) to reach my true potential. Not that I think being in the front yard would help either, but maybe there's more exposure up there? Either way, I've decided I'm going to be a celebrity when I grow up. I thought about the different things I like; Travel, Gerard Butler, good food, good wine, movies, music, things I can't afford, etc., and it seems all of those things point to celebrity as a calling. I already have the sunglasses so it's like it's been staring me in the face all this time.

I wouldn't be one of those asshole types that find fame and forget the little people. I'd be like the Glenda the Good Witch of stardom. I'd share my success with those around me... by letting them be around me ya know? When I got done wearing something I would send it to a needy country, one package at a time. I would send it USPS too because they need to make money. Every time you saw a starving person on a Feed The Children commercial wearing a kick ass cocktail dress you would know who sent it.

You know how you see pics of famous people in magazines doing regular every day people things, like shopping in Target for toilet paper? I would take it one step further and shop at Walmart. To me Target is just a bourgeois Walmart anyway. I swear when I go in there the people all look at me like... oh look who stumbled over from Wally World. Jerks. I bought this dress at Kohl's I'll have you know!

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