Maybe being on my own for such a long period of time has changed the way I look at things, but I know a lot of women who have been married many years that would probably back me up on this. Things have certainly evened out over the past few decades. Personally, I don't want a man to fulfill my every need. Do you know why? Because aside from that pesky sex thing, most of my needs aren't man related.
1. I love to get massages, go to the spa, take a bubble bath surrounded by scented candles, and all that fun stuff. This is going to come as a shock, but I have known how to run my own bath water for a very long time. I don't need a man for that.
True Story- A boyfriend once took me to a very nice hotel for a long weekend get away. It was incredibly relaxing and after a particularly long day of hiking, he treated me to a hot bath with candles. As a surprise, he came in to scrub my back and rinse my hair. It was awkward because I have never had someone wash my hair except at the salon, but it was sweet that he wanted to pamper me. He took my hand and helped me out of the bath, wrapped me in a kick ass robe, and led me by the hand back into the room for a "surprise".
There was a moment of awe and then a moment of panic as we rushed around the room blowing out the 20+ votive candles he had places all over the room to create ambiance. It was an incredibly sweet idea and had he placed the votive candles into little cups or on little plates, we wouldn't have spent the next 2 hours removing red wax from the furniture and carpets of the room. It was still a great weekend... but the smell of that sweet cheap apples and cinnamon wax will stay with me forever.
2. When I am sick, I want to be left alone to sleep off whatever bit of nastiness has dared to enter my being.
3. I have a job. Over the years I've learned how to buckle down when I didn't have enough money for all the things I wanted. I've learned to appreciate small things in life. I don't need your money. That being said, I don't feel the need to financially support you either. I don't have any sort of complex that causes me to feel an overwhelming desire to pay bills that aren't mine.
4. You don't need to listen to my girl talk. I have girlfriends that do this and do it very well. I don't want to hear, "I don't know why you talk to that bitch." I don't know why you talk to your buddy ____ either. Let's just leave that alone shall we?
5. There will be very few times that I will need you to shop with me. If you want to go, fine. I am not going to spend 3 hours in one store looking for the perfect anything. I will ask though that if you hate shopping, just stay home. It frustrates me enough without you sighing and asking me if I am done. Most malls have bars now. Feel free to go watch the game and have a beer. Find a bar with a better TV than you have at home. Eat junk food. Knock yourself out!
So what do I need from you? It's pretty simple really....
1. Humor - You don't need to tell me jokes. Be able to tease me, laugh with me, be teased, etc. Dry humor and quick wit is desired.
2. Passion - If I wanted to be a perfunctory lay I would become a hooker and make a little money on the deal and then you couldn't afford me! Sad! :(
3. Love - If it's going to work, you might need to love me. Maybe you don't think it's required, but it sure as hell makes things a lot easier because sometimes I am not very likable.
4. Understanding - This one might seem tricky. Hell I don't UNDERSTAND me. This might be where that "sure, I'm paying attention" nod comes in handy. I am emotional a couple of days a month. Get over it. These might be good days for you to go fishing, biking, camping, drinking, or diamond buying.
5. Fidelity - How about we don't have sex with other people? Let's be real here... I think you're sexy, but I love you (maybe). First and foremost, please don't hit on my sisters or my friends. You end up looking like a douche and I end up having to hate you. If you feel the need to dip your wick in another person's wax, do me the courtesy of packing your belongings before you go. It takes a lot of energy for me to go around the house and collect all of a person's belongings for the burn bin. I love efficiency.
Am I missing something?