Sunday, July 17, 2011

What We're Looking For: Don't Be The Inside of the Card Part 1 of 2

I received a birthday card a few years back with a really sexy guy on the front. Since I don't have the card, I'll just use my magic Internet skills to give you a reasonable representation of what he looked like.


Beneath his picture it said 'What we're looking for'. Knowing who the card was from I expected the words on the inside to be nothing short of hysterically funny. I smiled and opened the card.
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INSTEAD I GOT REVULSION. 

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The picture on the inside looked much like this except greasier (if that's possible) and dressed worse (again, is that possible)... some of you know him.. 

After the nausea passed and my eyes stopped watering and I felt certain I wouldn't wretch, I read the words beneath his picture. 'What's looking for us...' She delivered. Karen Walker's words spring to mind... "It's funny because it's true." Well, sort of. I've never been attracted to men who look like first guy, and I've been hit on by some real skeazy guys in the past, but thankfully nothing as bad as guy #2. 

The problem with finding someone who ticks the "what we're looking for" boxes is that in order for them to tick the most important one... you also have to tick theirs. No one wants to be the inside of the card right?

Stay tuned for Part Two of What We're Looking For where we discover how extensive my list is. 

I just checked the forecast and I'm considering faking some sort of short term illness that prevents me from leaving the house until Wednesday. Temporary insanity? Blue Ovaries? I'm open to suggestions! Whatcha got? 








10 comments:

Miss Sassy Pants said...

Ugh.

That second photo made me shudder.

Angie said...

LOL Sassy, I thought the same.

Jeff D'Antonio said...

Hey, where did you find that picture of me???

(I'll let you decide which picture I'm referring to...)

Leauxra said...

I finally figured out what I wanted a while back.

1) He must think my sock-tan-lines are sexy.
2) He must think that DEET is a perfume, and love it
3) We have to be able to sit in the same room without talking, reading or interneting, without feeling uncomfortable in any way.

Yeah. That's it.

And hardbody guys kinda freak me out, because whoever I am dating is NOT allowed to look better than me.

Angie said...

Jeff,
You were on the Hot Guy of the Week list on another site I stole you from. I'll let you decide which site it might be :p

Leauxra,
Deet is sexy. I used to date a racer who said I should dab a little cam 11 behind my ears. It's understandable. TOTALLY agree with the not feeling uncomfortable in any way thing. I sometimes suck at it. BRAVO you!

Fred Miller said...

I've heard Ron Jeremy used to be cute. It's a matter of faith, I guess.

Linda Medrano said...

Do you know that "hunk" men are cool to look at but I really have no interest in guys who look like that. Give me a brainiac with a sense of humor any day of the week. Looks fade. Personalities last.

Angie said...

Fred,
I wouldn't call him cute, but he didn't always look like a drunken angry Italian garden gnome. I found that out yesterday when I went searching for images!

Angie said...

Linda,
EXACTLY. I find the best humor in men who are intelligent. It doesn't have to be traditional education, but I want someone who makes me think and someone who makes me laugh. Oooh also, eyes that smile. Corny, sure but true.

Left Coast Guy said...

Angie:

Its funny, guys grow up thinking that the "hunk" is what all women are looking for. If they are lucky they learn that is not the case and in time to improve their mind and their personality. Alas, so many men end up with a mind similar to the body of 90 year old bodybuilder.

Dean

http://leftcoastguy.com

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