Friday, July 22, 2011

That's What She Said- An Office Game For Everyone

Aside from blogging, there are a few other things I do during the day when I am supposed to be hawking solutions and whatnot to poor unsuspecting people. One of the biggest parts of my day is playing the "That's What She Said" game with my co-workers. This game is played by reading sexual innuendo into pretty much everything we overhear. It doesn't have to be spoken to count as a score. Many times it's just indicated by a face like this:
Don't be a bitch.  It's Friday. I didn't do my hair. More on this later. 

There are two of us here that are particularly good at this game, or particularly bad at being able to control our giggling. I'd like to believe it's a combination of the two. It's probably just something that is wrong with my mind (Thank God the girl child was accepted to college and into the Psych program), but when I hear someone say, "Personally? I just give it a flick of the wrist and the wipe the end off with a paper towel." I immediately make the above face. I am almost always guaranteed a "That's what she said" mumbled from the other side of the office. 
I say it because it's true. 
Yet one more reason I come to work on days when I would almost rather do anything else. You see you have to know when to "pull out" and put the innocent face back on. It's also helpful if you can encourage someone else to cross the line and then put on a look of... "Oh my God. You really went there? What is WRONG with YOU!?" 

There will be people you cannot play the game with. These are the people who take the word 'innuendo' and reply with, "In my what?". Yeah... that was funny the first time. After that you're obviously one of those folks that will Thelma and Louise the conversation. While the rest of us are enjoying a pleasantly off-color conversation, this is the person who takes the wheel and drives it over the cliff, dropping hot and fast to the ravine floor below. Let's call this person Brian. 

Brian doesn't read this blog so it's okay that I called him out right? No? Alright, let's call him Bryan then. I'm too lazy to come up with anything else. 

So about that picture up there... it's Friday. I got up this morning and did my Friday facial, threw on some casual cargo capris with room enough in the leg for 2 of me, a tank top, and the biggest shirt I could find.No makeup, hair in a ponytail (no product ... because fuck that, that's why). No one is coming to work to see me so what do I care, right? Wrong. I strolled in noisily with my Doc Marten flip flops clop clop clopping my arrival. 

I looked at Sarah, who had her hair done all pretty, nice jeans, and a cute top then remembered some of us have a meeting today with a vendor. One of the some of us is me. FAIL. So I did the only thing I could do. When I walked into the meeting with my two co-workers in dress pants, shirts, and ties, I shook the hand of the vendor, and said, "I'm sorry it looks like some of us didn't think we were coming to work at all today."


Anonymous said...

You probably don't know this, but guys are ALWAYS playing that game, even if we don't say it out loud. We have a natural talent for finding a sexual innuendo in any word, phrase, facial expression, or gesture a woman throws our way. We don't even have to think about it, it just happens.

As for the no makeup thing, I just finished a post about that very subject and would love to hear your take on it.

Angie said...

I had figured it out which sort of tuned me in to playing the game myself. It's almost a race to see who can take the comment to the next level first.

As you can see... I am not as hung up on the makeup as I might seem (since I just come in looking all lotioned and potioned with a ponytail... but in business, it's different. You can't roll into a professional meeting looking like beach girl if the other girls look like Angelina Jolie in a Sag Harbor ad. Well you can, but you aren't taken as seriously.

Fair? Maybe.. maybe not, but it is what it is and what it is, is a means to paying the bills.

Leauxra said...

I think EVERYONE plays this game. Especially the people who think they are offended by it.

I recently wanted to dress up for something, and found my makeup growing mold, and realized that I hadn't worn any of it in well over a year. I had to toss it all. I think I am done buying that crap.

Angie said...

Leauxra... I've seen your pics hon. You can stop buying makeup. I will however recommend you keep the sunscreen and the deet! :D

Linda Medrano said...

Angie, you look better in a ratty tank, old shirt and cargo pants and no product to cover up that pretty face than most people look a their best. The pony tail is fine. That said, there is one thing. One little thing. Unless you are 6 foot two and weigh 97 pounds, "ix nay" (pig latin for nix) the cargo pants. Nobody alive looks good in cargo pants. Everyone looks short and fat in them. They are the least attractive pants ever.

Fred Miller said...

Linda's wrong about the cargo pants. I'm one of those guys who has a thing for lady EMTs. Just keep those chest compressions comin', Baby.

Angie said...

I refuse to get to 97 pounds just for cargo pants. haha I don't care if I am attractive when I wear them because I'm only going for comfort.
P.S. I miss pig latin!!!!

You're too funny. :) That sounds like a costume fetish!

RCB said...

Did that really happen? Oops! So when's your next meeting? Surprise them... New meeting, new surprise... Then again, it could be worse. I once went to work showing off my new suit. Then someone in the audience pointed at my favorite parts and whispered loud enough for everyone present to hear, "Your zipper's open!" You know that feeling, Angie?

Angie said...

It did it did! I have a few co-workers that read this that can verify I was horribly inappropriately dressed for Friday's meeting.

No, I cannot say I've ever had the zipper thing happen... though as long as nothing was poking out you're pretty safe right?

I do make an ass of myself regularly though... is that the same, Sir?

RCB said...

So you're online, are you? Well, I believe you. At least you didn't look like this:
Promise me you'dnever do that, not even to surprise them...

P.S. No, nothing was poking out, so you're right, it could have been much worse.

Angie said...

hahaha No, it wasn't quite that bad. However, one day I came to work in track shorts, a t-shirt, trainers, and a ball cap. I came back to my desk to find that my boss had taped a Boston Marathon Runner's Number to the back of my chair. I think he may have been trying to say, "You would make a terrific runner." or maybe, "Stop dressing like this is your day off." something like that.

Ordinary Randomness said...

I play that game all the time too. On the phone, in email, texting, you get the picture. Its gets on some peoples nerves. Luckily I have a neighbor lady that is just as bad as I am.

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