Alright then, now that I got that out of my system let's move on to what's really on my mind. What is the deal with being so mad you'd cut off a man's penis? Hey, we've all been pissed off before. Nearly everyone I know, male and female, has been screwed over once, twice, three times or more. Mrs. Becker was so mad about the state of affairs that she actually drugged her husband, cut it off, threw it in the garbage disposal, turned it on, and then called 911.
Apparently this argument began over guests staying at the residence. Who in the hell was staying there? Lizzie Borden? Lorena Bobbit? For the love of God, who in the hell pissed someone off so much that they cut off someone's penis? This is really over done lady! Seriously, there are better more mentally torturous ways to screw over the person who pissed you off without going to jail! Let's help shall we?
1. Talk incessantly about the state of the relationship- This is my favorite because it's been done to me. It damn near drove me in-freaking-sane. ONE FULL YEAR of hearing nothing except how much you wonder where things are going and how you think things could improve if only... I almost cut off my own head. If I'd had a penis, I'd have been a homosexual, but aside from that I'd have wanted to cut off my own penis. You can't go to jail for making someone so dejected that they want to cut off their own penis.
2. Take a liking to whatever music the other person hates the most- I find this to be a special kind of torture. It's very possible that the other person's least favorite kind of music is also your nemesis. However the enemy of thy enemy is thy friend, n'est-ce pas? If Big Band music drives them absofreakinlutely crazy embrace it like a mofo. Play it at home, in the car, book special concert dates when possible that revolve around it, give them nothing but related items for gifts. For one ex, this would have been any song made after 1985. :) Works!
Do you have any other tips for driving your partner crazy (not in the rip off your clothes and take you kind of way)? Have you ever been in a relationship where the other person did something so grating that you were tempted to harm them? Do tell!