So uh, yeah. In 2001 I moved to Denver. Being a small town/farm girl in a big city made me feel pretty alone for all of about 2 days. After that, I practiced my farmer wave at everyone in the neighborhood and trapped myself a friend, as you do. This couple was a riot! They were city kids from the get go and knew all about all the bad places in town to stay away from, where the cool places were, what stores had the freshest produce... you know all the awesome stuff. Over the course of our "getting to know you" iced teas (long or not), it was made known that I grew up on a farm.
The husband said, "Oooh farm girls are naughty. It's from seeing animals have sex. They know more than city girls."
My face, as you can imagine, looked much like this:
"You're joking right? By the time I saw animals having sex I knew way more than that. I rode the school bus." I said.
His face then looked a lot like mine. What? Surely he couldn't have been wrong all this time! Farm girls were truly kinky chicks who learned how to have sex by watching animals, right? I could tell that he would need help understanding and quickly, because his brain was about to short circuit having never been confronted with it's own wrongness before.
I'm going to explain this to you like I explained it to him.
The school bus is the earliest form of sex education most kids get. For those of you who cringe at the thought of putting your kids on a school bus, you are absolutely right to do so. Everything dirty thing I know I learned on the bus (okay the BASIS for all the...). Yeah, the big yellow behemoth is a hot-bed of naughty words, incorrect information, horrible pronunciation, and inappropriate behavior.
If you ever look at a passing school bus and see the back of the bus is full of older kids, you can be guaranteed that there is a topic happening back there that would make you blush. The older kids sit back there so that the bus driver (generally in his late 40's minimum - though we did luck out and get a cool driver once) can't hear them talking about who is putting what into who, who the dirty sluts are at school, and other "need to know" bits of gossip. The school bus was where I saw a penis for the first time. Sure, it was in underwear poking out the hole in the pants of a rowdy 7 year old who giggled as much as everyone else, but still... education people.
As a matter of fact, I remember being at the swimming pool one hot summer day and running into some kids that rode one of the school buses in our district. There was fun and frivolity and splashing and the like... and then he called me a clitoris. That's right. On one of those long, dusty, noisy bus rides... someone taught him the word "clitoris". Unfortunately, they forgot to teach him the context in which to use the word. Looking back, I am a little flattered. HEY! They bring pleasure to people everywhere. Your life, male or female, would be a little sadder if it weren't for the clitoris. Call it what you want... (sorry, Tesla moment there), I'll take it as a compliment.
No, I don't recall ever looking at livestock or farm pets having sex and saying, "Ohhhhh so that's how it's done." If that were the case, some poor guy right now might be cringing at the memory of my alley cat like painful screaming. REEEAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR and stuff.