Monday, July 11, 2011

Men Are From Mars and I Wish I Had a Penis... WHAT?!

I have a lot of guy friends. There are girls that men fall all over themselves to get to, and there are girls that fall into the "one of the guys" or "like a sister" category. I am in the second group. That should hurt my feelings and it used to, but I've since learned that the men in my day-to-day life are exactly what any single girl needs if she's going to understand at all what the opposite sex is thinking. Such was the situation today. While discussing this whole "blogging thing"  I mentioned that I always enjoy reading He Said / She Said columns. I enjoy the exchange of ideas, and it's usually at least moderately entertaining to see how differently the two sexes read situations. I then asked my guy friend if he wanted to do a He Said /She Said blog with me. 

Him- How about we call it, He Said / She Listened?
Me- How About F*ck Off?
Him- Mine is catchier. Yours is sweary. 
Me- Okay, how about He Said / She Listened / He Wished?

It wasn't long before the other guys were chiming in with their thoughts on male/female conversation styles, relationship issues, and the like. One even went so far as to bring up Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus, to which another replied, "It should be Men Are From Mars Women Wish They Had A Penis."

I couldn't help but laugh. Yes, it's true. I wish I had a penis. Not for any sexual reason and certainly not attached to me. That would be creepy. I would smack people with it. I would gesticulate wildly, penis in hand, because it would be fun. I would keep my penis in my purse and bring it out any time it would be beneficial to have one. I would also buy a sporty car or a big SUV if my penis was small. Other than that, I have absolutely no desire to be a man. 

When I need to cry, I go to a girlfriend. If I want to just talk about how I feel, I talk to my girls. When I can't figure out a man, I go to the experts. I won't go as far as saying it's ever made me feel BETTER, but at least it's information direct from the source. 

What's your friend mix look like? Mostly girls? Mostly guys? Even split?

While you're thinking about that, check out the new page up top called Blog Most Likely To! 


Anonymous said...

I grew up with a girl for a best friend. We met when we were 6 years old, grew up together, went through a lot together, did everything together. She was "one of the guys". Then we grew up, and we both married other people but stayed the closest of friends. Then she was firmly in the "like a sister" category.

Then she died. And it was like losing a part of my soul.

I don't think I could ever have had a friendship like that with a guy. Guys are great for hanging out with, watching the game with, having spitting/pissing/farting contests with, etc. But girls? They listen. I mean really listen. They don't try to "fix" things, they just listen. And I need that sometimes.

Growing up with a girl for a best friend, you learn a few things about how women think, and how to relate to them. That was the greatest gift me friend ever gave me, and my marriage and my relationship with my daughters is all the stronger because of it.

Leauxra said...

I adore what you would do if you had a penis. And for the record, I have about a 50/50 split guys and girls...

Linda Medrano said...

I think I'm pretty much split down the middle. One of my best friends is a guy, well, actually two of them. I also have a very close gay woman friend. I do think men and women have some real differences. One thing, I think men are probably less complicated. (If he says "I don't want a relationship", he means "he does not want a relationship". Women sometimes think "well, he means he's afraid of commitment." Uh, no. That's not what he means.

Meg said...

Growing up, I had more guy friends, and I had 4 brothers. Sometimes, guys are just easier, less complicated. Since I've been married, I definitely have more girl friends. Jeff makes a good point. Girls listen. Men fix. If I want to wallow in self pity, I go to my girlfriends. If I want a solution, I'll talk to my husband. We've been together 21 years and he still doesn't realize that sometimes, I just want someone to sympathize with me. I'm thinking you should invest in one of those realistic dildo's and wave it around whenever you please.

Angie said...

Jeff- I'm sure you already know this, but you're blessed. Many people never find a friend like that. ~hugs~

Leauxra- Just the idea of shaking it in someone's face while you yell at them sort of makes you giggle doesn't it?

Linda- Dear God woman where were you the last two times I thought I was in love?! haha So true, when they say "I don't want a relationship" that is exactly what they mean.

Meg- I am in complete agreement on asking a man if you want the solution. They don't want or need to hear the minute details. They want to rub some dirt on it, slap some duct tape on it, and move on. Hmmm someone else suggested a dildo. That's twice today dammit!

Gorilla Bananas said...

I think a cosh would be more suitable than a penis for the uses you have in mind. But about your guy you think any of them suffer from clitoris envy?

Angie said...

If they don't they should! :)

Fred Miller said...

I have mostly girl friends. I guess I prefer being a man, but I don't really care. In a town of 70,000 people, I know a surprisingly large number of transgendered people. I used to be music producer for one of the members of their church. So many of them are frustrated, trying to change to the gender they want to be. I've see only one actually accomplish it. I think if I had to be woman, I'd just be one. Hell with it. Learn to like penises. Or not.

TessaLeFae said...

When I was a kid I used to try to pee standing up, other than that I love being a girl.

Angie said...

I think the only time I ever peed standing up was completely accidental and I was pregnant. LOL I love being a woman. I have never wanted to be a man. I imagine their gripes are as lengthy as ours. At least I'm used to ours!

Fred, I can't imagine how they feel. Just like any other situation that I cannot personally relate to I can only empathize with the frustration of life not being how we want/expect and not being able to change it.

RCB said...

Books like Mars & Venus (which, by the way, was stolen from the sociolinguist Deborah Tannen) are pretty much useless if someone's aim is to change the other sex or to at least let them behave in a way that shows respect for gender differences. Pretty useless because the only people who read these books are women (except for male sociolinguists like myself). Therefore, the only people who invest in the relationship armed with the newly gained knowledge that these books are so willing to share with you are women. So nothing changes except for more frustrated women becoming even more frustrated now that they understand their man's odd behavior a bit more while remaining completely misunderstood themselves. It's a drag...

Angie said...

I am finding more and more frequently that couples rarely seem to be on the same page. :) Book or no book. It's a matter of how many pages apart you're willing to be.

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