I am optimistic. It's not so much that I see good things where others would only see the negative, au contraire, mon ami, I just tend to forget things. Much like oil floats on water (for some reason which scientifically escapes me at this moment), happy stuff floats over bad. So like okay, if bad things are watery and good things are oily (says a certain oil guy I know), then I'm on edge of a lake and there's been an oil spill and I only see the shimmery oil slick and.... (takes a yellow pill).
I don't have time to dwell on the bad stuff for more than 20 minutes a day. I like to use those 20 minutes in 1 minute increments. So for those of you who think, "Well, she seems pretty bitchy to me!" I will caution you to do the math before you judge me. I am only bitchy and negative like 1.4% of the day (holy balls I think I did math and got it right. If I didn't just STFU because I don't need you bringing me down).
Below you will find a small sampling of my most stellar moments of overlooking the BS and finding the little rays of sunlight in my life.
1. Pregnant out of wedlock- Have you met my daughter? Sure I made some mistakes with her, but she's like a beta program. I knew I'd have another kid eventually and we'd get it right... JUST KIDDING! She's beautiful, smart, sassy, infuriating, funny, irreverent at times, but all in all she's everything I love in a person.
2. Married when I probably shouldn't have- I got my son out of the deal! He's pretty much a male version of me as a child except far less concerned with the cleanliness of his socks, clothes, etc. He has survived being raised by me, which is in and of itself a feat worth a purple heart or a medal of some sort. He cracks me up. The boy has a heart of gold.
3. Divorce- BWAHAHAHAHA Moving right along. I met Sue, and Lesley, and Chas because of this change in my life. Quoth the Sheen- WINNING!
4. Moved from Denver to Sioux Falls where I am currently planning to flee- Jill, Terra, Kristin, John, Angela, Deanna, Joe, Shannon, Barney- Sometimes you can't have your own family around so you create one. These are my peeps.
Oh and I bought a house that sucks the money from my bank account like a swarm of blood thirsty mosquitoes on a Minnesota lake in the heat of July when you're already suffering from swass, swoob, and all the other colloquial terms for sweaty body parts.
That my friends is the American dream, so yeah... I'm livin' it!
5. Fell in love and found out it's not love unless the other person confirms it- This is repetitive so I'm lumping it all into good old number five. Broken hearts suck, but a numb heart would suck worse. So, I got to travel and meet interesting people who to this day still make me smile (when I think of hedge clippers). Also, since love must be shared for it to truly be love... I have broken up with Magnum ice cream bars. Looking back, I see now that it was a one way street. Damn you ice cream! I thought what we had was special!
These are just a few of the main ones. I'm not even talking about the time I stopped drinking for a solid 4 months. Or when I thought it would be a good idea to play really upbeat house music while jogging (I have a tendency to wanna dance which is not allowed on the treadmill). Or when I thought I would look good with bangs (Revonet-March-2008). Or kissing that guy at the bar after one really shitty break up just because I thought he was Irish because he said he was but he was really just faking the accent and he turned out to be just a really average guy who was 23. He did not look like this:
Life is too freaking short not to look back at things with a smile and be glad you made it to where you are right now. Bottoms up y'all! Raise a glass with a toast to waking up on this side of the soil to do it all over again!