Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Humpless Hump Day

Well, once again it's Hump Day and I'm all humpless. Frankly, I'm a little bitter about the whole thing. Give me five minutes and I'll get over it.
Okay, over it.
I don't need friends. The fact that it's the truth doesn't change the fact that I absofreakinlutely love the ones I have. I'll probably even make some more, just because. I mean just because I don't need chocolate cake doesn't mean I won't ever bake one or eat some. Not that I would eat my friends, that would be wrong. Plus, I don't know where all my friends have been. However, I could be swayed if they were covered in chocolate frosting.

Today I received a text from a friend asking me to coffee this afternoon. I accepted, and was delighted when I received a reply that said, "READ- Do you want vodka flavored coffee?" Why, yes. Yes, I do indeed want my coffee flavored with vodka. I fully intend to make it a special order. One Grande Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte, please. You know what... it will be happy hour so make that a double and call me a cab. (See Miss Sassy Pants? It's okay... ) That isn't really the point of today's little blog-o-rama. I just noticed that I accidentally made Sassy talk NOT ABOUT ALCOHOL, and I didn't want to be that sort of person.

Now that I got that out of the way, let's talk a little bit about my horoscope. Apparently, "this is a really good time of the month to get noticed, so get out there and take charge. Things will generally get busier, and you should reserve extra time on your schedule for unanticipated appointments or prolonged, profitable personal engagements. The spotlight turns up, and you're on stage and need to PERFORM!"

I sort of feel like kicking myself for the stripper post yesterday. I'm also wishing I'd read that before we picked a destination for drinks. Then I could have chosen some place without a stage, dance floor, and booze. Now I need to go home and put on some kick ass light up mega heel platforms and a g-string. I was really hoping for a more relaxed cocktail experience, but it would seem a performance is due on my part. If I don't make it back, I want you all to go ahead and assume that my performance was stellar (and I worked my way through paying my student loans). 

There is also a good chance that tomorrow I will be too rich to blog. I bought two Powerball tickets today WITH Powerplay. I am not sure what that Powerplay is because I just said "okay" when the lady asked if I wanted it. When I got to work I found that I can't even look it up because gambling sites are blocked here. So there's that. 

To recap: 
1. I would eat my friends if they covered themselves in chocolate frosting
2. I want Sassy to feel okay about being like me even if I am not okay being like me
3. It's my day bitches
4. Love the hell out of me today because tomorrow I might have money and you might want some of this... I mean that... I mean... 



Steve Bailey said...

My sources say that enemies actually taste better than friends.

Angie said...

They are often speedy and hard to catch though. I'm all lazy :p

Always Home and Uncool said...

Sorry. I just jumped back to the stripper post. Were you saying something?

Angie said...

I said, "You got another $20 sweetie?"


Linda Medrano said...

My stripper pole days are behind me, sadly. I mean, I could still do it, but I really shouldn't. But you go ahead, Honey. I think it's a good idea for you.

Angie said...

LOL No way. I will save that for someone who wants to see my bad ass moves for close to forever!

wagthedad said...

Loving the hell out of that potential richness, but even if you don't get rich I will still come back here and comment on your posts. I might even read them before I comment, too. Vodka-flavored please don't post about that any more because now I am at work and my coffee just isn't cutting it.

But promise that if you win a lot of money you will still post, because what you will have is TIME to do it.

Leauxra said...

My work blocks the lottery sites, too. I'm like, REALLY? I can waste HALF MY DAY on blogger and facebook, but I can't get to the lottery site? Pu-LEEEZE.

Maybe they are actually worried I might win and leave halfway through the day.

Also, my horoscope told ME it was supposed to be MY day. It didn't say anything about you. :)

Angie said...

You will be happy to know that I did NOT win the lottery last night and therefore will not be spending all of my time getting wasted and tan on the beaches in Panama.

Are you a Scorpio too or did they lie to us both? BASTARDS!

RCB said...

Next time a friend says, 'Eat me,' you'll know what to do... BTW blog-o-rama... another word I'm going to steal from you, but I'll get you some chocolate. You won't hate me then (or be disappointed again).

Angie said...

Awwww I don't hate you and you have to try a lot harder to disappoint me. LOL

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