Thursday, July 14, 2011

For Susie On Her Birthday

Today marks the birthday of a very dear friend of mine. Approximately 11 years ago, I met one of the most amazing women the planet has to offer. When I stumbled into Women and Men Ask Why, Sue was one of the first people to greet me and has been like a sister ever since. Here's why:

1. Her Smile: She's got a kick ass smile that lights up a room. This in combination with that sweet Scottish accent and her big doe eyes makes it possible for her to look straight at you and tell you to fuck right off and you would DO IT. You would do it and you would LIKE IT.

2. She Doesn't Hold a Grudge: When we went to Dallas a few years ago we decided to go with the group to Billy Bob's. As we wandered the gift shop we ended up getting separated. I spotted her on the other side of the store, taking the lid off of a container of body butter. Now, I know that they smell like food. They look like you could spread them on toast. The Shea ones are amazingly deceiving. So I assumed it would be best to warn her of their "not so tasty" flavor. I yelled, "DON'T EAT THAT!". People turned and stared. She still let me in the hotel room when we got back.

3. Hospitality Plus: When a group of us finally decided to actually meet up for vacation, she and our friend Lesley played host to this one chick from the United States who was a bit off center. They housed her, fed her, watered her, and introduced her to all sorts of amazing non-American things. (Maltezers, Lucozade, Cadbury Flake, Ripples, Stella Artois, Boots Shops, Matalan, Dunnes, etc.)

4. Knows How To Have Fun: Somewhere... there are pictures of Ms. Sue standing next to Ms. Lesley at a train station in Manchester. Both of these ladies are sporting the brand new sexy matching panties I brought for everyone (I wanted us to really feel like a group)... on the outside of their pants. Aside from this little incident, we've managed to take Vegas by storm and drink ourselves into a state of what I can only imagine was pure whorishness. Though we don't have a lot of memories from that evening... I bet you ANYTHING, she's the one who hung our new hooker dresses up in the closet when we made it back to our room. Plus... she's a total sex kitten... RAWR!
Who's a sex kitten? You's a sex kitten! Meow! 

5. Handier Than a Shirt Pocket: My lady friends will understand this. Sometimes you're wearing something and you don't know if you really should be. Is the skirt too short? Is your cleavage exceeding the standard rules that keep you right on the edge of appearing like a prostitute? Even all the damn way over there in Scotland... I can ask Sue to turn on IM and check me for fashion violations. Even things like, "Okay, I'm going to turn around and bend over now. Tell me if you see my panties."

6. Snuggle Skills: I won't say she's the first female I've shared a bed with, but she's damn sure the bed snuggler. You can take that any way you want. I don't care. Neither does she. We're okay with it.

This doesn't even begin to cover all the amazing things about Ms. Dinky Skye. She sends me packages in the mail under our old chat pseudonyms. She freaking bought my kids bikes y'all. BIKES! Because we were dirt poor and lost all of our belongings in a bad breakup and subsequent move. She allows me to cry. She listens when I bitch about the same things over and over and over. She's an amazing wife. She's a far better mother than I could ever hope to be. Most importantly... she's my friend even when I don't deserve one.

So Happy Birthday Susie! I love you more than you know.


pinkim said...

NICE!! wish I had me one of those!! that's what I have to say about that...and glad you like the cartoon...cracked me up too...Kim

Linda Medrano said...

OMG Angie, now I'm in love with her! What a darling! And I adore the picture of her! She's gorgeous and an absolute sex kitten!

I also love how these UK women can say the naughtiest things and have it sound like you are at high tea with the Queen!

So Happy Birthday Gorgeous Woman! When Angie moves in with me, you can come and live with us too!

Sue / Skye / Dinky .. i answer to said...

Awww.. you made me cry!


Angie said...

Pinkim and Linda... She's SO everything I said she is and more!

DinkySkyeSue- I love ya back and I hope you had/are having a great evening!

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