1.Visit Italy- Rome and Venice and Pisa and gorge myself with tasty traditional foods, local wines, meet the Pope. See the Leaning Tower up close. Attempt to push it over. Ride in a gondola that doesn't only go around the casino in Vegas.
2. Perfect my recipe for Zuppa Toscana and then find out if Olive Garden is even remotely on base by trying some in Italy. Feed to #13. If he dies, find new potential husband.
3. Visit France- Eiffel Tower, Louvre, the Palace at Versailles. French kiss a cute guy, because it's what ya do.
4. Make a brie en croute as pretty as Paula Dean's- I am also going to strive to make it at least 2x more fattening. I will put on a proper French accent while I make it and even stick on a little French Chef mustache.
5. Go back to Ireland- This time hitting the Republic. Dublin, Cork, Galway. See Giant's Causeway, Cliffs of Moher, have a proper Irish coffee, possibly spend a month as a drunk out of work author.
6. Learn to do a proper shepherd's pie. Use this to lure unsuspecting Irishmen to my cottage for lewd and lascivious acts.
7. Go back to Scotland- I miss my Sue. I need a good week of laughing and snuggling. Would like to go back to Edinburgh as well as taking time to visit Glasgow.While in Glasgow, learn to speak Glaswegian. It seems to me to be the Scottish version of Cajun. It's LIKE English but completely impossible to understand.
8. Learn to make Sue's roast lamb and those kick ass potatoes she made to go with them! Also, go to Matalan for 3 hours straight and spend every single dime I have on things I do not need and will pretend I didn't buy while in Scotland. Also... get Sue silly drunk on champagne. She needs it.
9. Go back to Liverpool- Visit Lesley's Rob and maybe Bob C! Take a couple friends and party our way down the Matthew's Street.... purely as a tribute of course. Also make them take the ferry with me and force them to sing along badly with the Ferry Cross the Mersey song. You must sit by at least one obvious tourist (other than your dork-ass self) and sign the damn song with a freakin smile... for like 30 minutes.
10. Machu Picchu- Must do. While in the area, take a jungle canopy tour. Spend a little time being the Dian Fossey of howler monkeys. Steal a mango from one.
11. Panama Canal- Or hell.. just Panama. I have my vacation home already picked out! I will load Van Halen to my iPod when Apple gets around to freaking sending me one. < Dear Apple, I am a little pissed off that you don't seem to love me.>
12. Write a book- This will probably be a book on sexual positions I don't recommend because they cause leg cramps.
13. Marriage- I'm going to make a very nice wife. I have had some time to work the kinks out. I will stop choosing men who suck. Why didn't I think of that earlier?!
14. Leaving South Dakota- While I initially planned for this to be a bit like the Nick Cage/Elisabeth Shue movie I don't think I can actually drink as well as he can. So really the goal is just to GTFO of here. I am starting that process in 3 weeks.
15. Buy that latex catsuit- Back in 2009 I told myself that I was going to look smoking hot in a latex cat suit and by God it's time. I don't give a shit if you all think I'm kinky and twisted. I don't care if you think my goals lack substance. You know where you can stick your substance? I have an idea, but it might seem a little kinky.
16. Become conversational in French and Italian- These things will be helpful for when I am in France and Italy and possibly even in Montreal trying to make small talk with the locals and looking for a husband. It would be good to know for sure that the person I'm flirting with didn't just say, "I would like to take you home and bind your hands and feet with duct tape and string you up from a beam and then disembowel you." Seriously people, French and Italian are so beautiful when spoken that I would probably just smile stupidly and go along willingly.
17. Deep sea fishing- I want to catch a marlin. I once put a bunch of corn on a hook and went fishing in Little George Lake. I caught a carp and that little bastard put up one hell of a fight. Of course when I got it to shore I had absolutely no idea what the hell do to with it, but a marlin? Oh hell yeah. I would have that bitch stuffed and give it to someone who likes fish as a present. Win/Win
18. Scuba- I've been putting off my scuba classes and I should be ashamed of myself. I am only giving myself until next spring to complete this project. Maybe I'll get lucky and get to punch a shark in the nose. If that turns out to be a big fat lie, I loved you all and I wish we had gotten more time to spend together.
19. Have another baby- Bwahahahaa
20. Do a Mud Run- I hate running, abhor it really. It makes my right knee hurt. It makes my boobs hurt. I sweat profusely when I do it. Did I mention I hate running? The Mud Run would be a bitch to complete, but I want to do it.
So there we are. I'm thought out for the day. Give me some ideas! What else should be on there?