Lately, I've struggled with exactly what direction I want my life to go. Every single day is a struggle to go to work. I'm unhappy with my situation and the reasons are really easy to figure out. What I do is completely devoid of fulfillment. Regardless of the day's outcome I wind up driving home wondering why I got out of bed to begin with. I force myself to workout because my current career path is causing some "secretary spread". I go to bed earlier than usual and wake up in the middle of the night scared to death that yet another day is going to go by and my life will be wasted. Yeah, sometimes I dream that I shot someone and rolled their body in a tarp and hid it in a closet. Who doesn't? But it doesn't explain the other stuff so stop judging me.
Sure there's that pesky money question that has to be addressed, but it doesn't stop me from contemplating the moment I get up the balls to walk into my boss' office to say, "It's not you. It's me. You deserve more than I have to offer. My heart isn't in this. You will find someone better. Someone who can sell things they way you wish I could. I'm going to go now and pack my things. Please don't try to stop me. We both know this is for the best."
Today was a little different. I began the day by saying to the convenience store clerk, "I'd quit my job and start a new life if I won $100K." while she ran my Powerball ticket. This isn't different I'm just layin' it out for you. So I come to work right... I do what I do, take a break, shop online with Sue at Matalan, break for lunch, do a little more work, then it was break time again. Out of the corner of my eye I spot chocolate on Sarah's desk. She allows me to get a lil sumtin out of the jar and go back to my desk.
I thought to myself, "Angie, what the f*ck are you doing here? What in the hell are you going to do? When are you going to make a change?" Slowly I peeled the wrapper of my little chocolate treat. I almost cried. What I found was like seeing the Virgin Mary in a piece of toast, or Jesus' face on the Shroud of Turin. It was a message from the Universe itself, grabbing me by the shoulders and turning me in the right direction.
If Dove, who I don't even know that well, would tell me to quit my job... I think I almost have to. Now if only I could get a stranger to approach me with a message to drink more wine life would be f*cking perfect!